Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, ends with tears..

LADY GAGA!!!

2009-07-20T01:09:00.000-07:00

I wanna be like HER!!!
I'm her BIGGEST fan!!!
i like the way she sings.. but i LOVE her LOOKS!!!
i LOVE her STYLE!!!

SPEECHLESS..

2009-07-17T02:42:00.000-07:00

17 July 2009 (Friday)

Today is the last day to collect my ResultsPlus Direct slip at British Council, for those who had taken Edexcel O-Levels Examination in the month of May. I went with my dad after picking up my younger brother from his school. Throughout the journey, daddy and i were chatting.. He was sharing his problems, in other words, he was actually releasing his tension..

Lately, he's been bothered by my both aunties' problems. They are my father's younger and youngest sister. One is so miserable to have married a DISLOYAL husband whom has TWO kids. Another one is too miserable to have married a GAMBLER, YET, they have FOUR kids already!!! My anuties are still young, they're just 30++.

Just for your information, i am not being BUSY-BODY here. I'm just telling the facts that ARE happening in this world, the people around you, are they like them too?? If they do, please, please advise them, and motivate them. I feel so PITIFUL to them.. i just wish i could help them..

The one with a DISLOYAL husband actually requested for divorce. But he declined. The main reason is, he doesn't want people around him to look down on him, he doesn't want others to change view on him.. OMG!!! this kind of guy REMINDS me of THOM!!! There's ONLY a word to describe men like them : JERK!!!!

I can't deny that he's RICH (just like Thom)!! Who doesn't want to marry a rich guy?? Who doesn't want to live in a LUXURIOUS LIFE?? Who doesn't want GUCCI, LV, PRADA??? WHO DOESN'T WANT A BMW, MERCEDES BENZ, FARRARI??? WHO DOESN'T WANT BRANDED PRODUCTS???

Guys.. this is a MESSAGE for ya'll.. Before you PROPOSE to "someone" you LOVE, PLEASE.. I'M BEGGING YA'LL.. PLEASE DO MAKE SURE THAT YOU WILL ENDURE THE VOW THAT YOU'VE MADE TO HER..

ALL GIRLS ARE SOFT-HEARTED, THIS IS TRUE.

We put all our heart in our marriage.. We do not play a fool when it comes to MARRIAGE. We take it SERIOUSLY. And we hope that ya'll take it seriously TOO! Marriage is LIFELONG... If you LOVE her, why would you HURT her so badly??

Think of the TWO kids.. Think of their welfare.. Their future.. Do not hold any GRUDGE.. Everyone made MISTAKES.. The wife had FORGIVEN you.. but can't you just APPRECIATE it?? SET HER FREE... That is ALL she NEED. RELEASE her from all the bad memories you've caused her in her life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What is so special about GAMBLING??!! Especially for those who already have FAMILY. Worst of all, you borrowed money from LOAN-SHARK!! COMMON SENSE PLEASE!!! You know you won't get away from them. It's daily counted interest rate!! DON'T YOU KNOW THAT??!! Have you ever thought of who will be the VICTIM of ALL YOUR FOOLISH ACTIONS??

Now that they have to seek for help. Help from who?? My father. My father has to sell his shares in order to help you in your financial problem. Loan-sharks are very DARING!! They tend to do ANYTHING in order you to return back their money + interest!!! They KIDNAP your children, even RAPE your wife!!! Please be more CONSIDERATE. For your family's sake, for God's sake, PLEASE BE MORE RESPONSIBLE!! What else you could sell?? YOUR HOUSE?? YOUR BUSINESS COMPANY?? YOUR CAR??

SAY IT!!! >>>>

My DEAR uncles.. i'm SPEECHLESS.. i just hope that everything will be FINE..

BLOOD SUCKER!!!

2009-07-17T02:09:00.000-07:00

17 July 2009 (Friday)

3a.m. something, i was awake coz of those irritating mosquitoes that hunger for my blood.. i was EXTREMELY annoyed, hence, i got up from my bed, switched on the lights and brightened up my room.. Ready to HUNT for mosquitoes!! I seriously hate them SO SO SO SO MUCH!! I searched every single place in my room.. every corner..

AHAH!!! i FOUND one!!! I started chasing it.. "PIAK!!!!" YOU'RE DEAD!!!!

DAMN IT!!! It sucked my blood!!!

Never mind.. as long as i am able to sleep peacefully, i don 't care. I JUST WANNA SLEEP!!!

Ten minutes later.. i SMELLED mosquitoes AGAIN!!! i could FEEL them on my SKIN..!!! F***!!! I tried to cover my whole body with my blanket. But i could HEAR it!!! The sound of the vibration of its wing.. AGAIN i got up from my bed, repeated the steps..

i got that mosquito ON MY HAND!!! hehehehehe.... XD poor thing.. it had an EMPTY stomach before it dies.

This time.. i tried to sleep.. but i failed.. THANKS TO THOSE MOSQUITOES!!! So i took out a novel borrowed by TM, and read it. While i was enjoying the story, here comes ANOTHER mosquito!!! WTH!!! I don't have diebetes, my blood's not sweet-tasting.. GO FUCKING PICK SOMEONE ELSE PLEASE!!!

I KILLED IT BTW!!! and i BET that is the LAST one!! NO MORE MOSQUITOES!!!

i dedicate this song to YOU !!!

2009-07-16T01:04:00.000-07:00

*YOU CREEPY ASSHOLE!! I'VE GOT YOU A NEW NICKNAME!!!*

Kristinia Debarge <GOODBYE>
Am I supposed to put my life on hold
Because you don't know how to act
And you don't know where your life is going
Am I supposed to be torn apart, broken hearted,
In a corner crying, pardon me if I don't show it
I don't care if I never see you again
I'll be alright
Take this final piece of advice and get yourself together,
But either way baby, I'm gone!!!

I'm so over it, I've been there and back
Changed all my numbers and just in case you're wondering
I got that new I'm a single girl swag
Got me with my girls and we're singin' it
Na na na na
Hey hey hey
Goodbye

Cut my hair cuz it reminded me of you
I know you like the long do,
Had to switch my attitude up
Thinking of changing up how I ride,
No more
On the passenger side too bad
You miss out on the way that I drive it
I don't care if I never see you again
I'll be alright
Take this final piece of advice and get yourself together,
But either way baby, I'm gone!!!

PEOPLE!!! THIS IS NOT A JOKE!!

2009-07-13T22:29:00.000-07:00

14 July 2009 (Tuesday)

Below are the messages that Thom sent to me last night (13 July 2009)..

"Try me. I have your identity" sent 20:32p.m.

"I need your written explanation tomorrow." sent 23:37p.m.

"YOU HAVE TO WRITE A LETTER TO ME TOMORROW. IF YOU DON'T, I CURSE YOU FOR LIFE. I WILL BE WATCHING YOU DIE." sent 23:43p.m.

"DON'T TRY GET ME INTO MY NERVE AND I WILL BE COMPLAINING FOREVER ABOUT YOU. GO TRY ME." sent 00:09a.m. (14 July 2009)

"BYE RED STREET GIRL. DON'T LET ME ASK MY GUYS TO PROMOTE YOU TO BE A PROSTITUTE. I GIVE THEM YOUR CONTACT NUMBER. TRY ME." sent 00:14a.m.

~ Girls.. i've warned you people not to get near this guy..
so if you do not listen to me, you'll have to bear the consequences ~

INSANE!!!

2009-07-13T01:44:00.000-07:00

13 July 2009 (Monday)

It was just three days ago (Friday), i removed my relationship status in Facebook. I changed it to Single. It has been a long time that i wanted so much to BREAK UP with him.. the FREAKING RICH guy i mentioned in the previous post. Plus, it has been a long time i've not contact him.. Fine, i don't even BOTHER whether he's DEAD or ALIVE. I DON'T CARE!!! He's NOT even part of my life!!!

The next day, i was TOO boring so i went online again. He sent me a few messages in Facebook, saying..

"You're such a bitch!"
"i will post up your **** ***** ***** now!"
"and i will delete and block you now!"

Bla.. Bla.. Bla..

Owh.. JUST FUCKING DELETE IT!!! i didn't say that i wouldn't delete you after we broke up. But, THANK YOU for making the FIRST MOVE, so i can save my effort.

Therefore, i was living happily ever after WITHOUT HIS EXISTENCE..

But sadly, he was so thick-skinned to still have the pride to text me a message last night!!! OMG!! How could "you" drop your status and fame to still message me??!! Don't "you" know that you're insulting me??!!

"I need your explanation letter and send to me by Tuesday. If you fail to submit. You will be taking charge.."

Ya ya ya.. WHATEVER!!!

Opps!! i FORGOT that you're the so-called PRINCE of HAINAN in China, RIGHT?? No wonder. As your DEAR little God sister (Elaine) told me, she said..

"Babe. He's not pervert ok. As you know, he's classy and arrogant. Most of people in Mid Valley knows him and others too. He doesn't like people to look down with him. He's numerous person and popular ok. As you know, keep a secret. He's a young prince of hainan in china in this generation. If you don't love him. He will be migrating to other country. I will be worrying when he will be leaving if you don't love him. Think about it. My friends and i love him. So please considerate."

*Just for your information, the message above is EXACTLY the REAL message that his God sister sent to me*

Since you (Elaine) LOVE your "God brother" so much, MARRY HIM, YOU IDIOT!!! i FUCKING don't wanna get involve in this affair!!! I'm TOTALLY an OUTSIDER in this COMPLICATING matter!!!

*This is a wall post i sent to Nanalicious in Facebook on 11th July 2009.*

"He does love me like CRAZY!! he even put me as his FIANCEE for his "We're Related" application on his facebook profile!!! If he would just grow SLIGHTLY taller until 170cm. I wouldn't have do this to him.. just recently, i found out that he has got a secret affair with a girl on facebook. So i don't think he's a trustworthy person. DUMP HIM OF COURSE!!"

"i know i'm a BITCH!! I didn't deny the statement from the very first place. So why should i care when people telling me that i'm a BITCH??!! Cuz those people who said that i'm a bitch, THEY ARE FUCKING BITCHES TOO (FOR GIRLS!)!!! and THOSE GUYS ARE SON-OF-BITCHES!!! Especially THOM!!! " "THOM, CAN YOU HEAR ME??!! YOU'RE FUCKING SON-OF-A-BITCH!!! i'm sorry your highness, i just can't help it!! You just gave birth to your dear prince of hainan, and he deserves NOTHING in this world!! NOT EVEN ME IS INCLUDED!!! Your highness, this is a message for you and your son, "YOU'RE SUCH A BITCH LIKE ME TOO!!!"

Thom, i here by telling you that WE'RE OFFICIALLY BROKEN UP ALREADY!!! So stop all those SILLY stuffs!!

NO FUCKING EXPLANATION LETTER!!!
NO FUCKING MESSAGES FROM YOU ANYMORE!!!

Random Quizzes i received from 36181

2009-07-11T06:15:00.000-07:00

At 40 Centrigate, a person loses about 14.4 calories per hour by breathing.
Electricity doesn't move through a wire, but through a field around the wire.
Those stars and colours you see when you rub your eyes are called phospenes.
There is a hotel in Sweden built entirely out of ice, it is rebuilt every year.
Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.
To find out if a watermelon is ripe, knock it, and if it sounds hollow then it is ripe.
Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.
Did you know, Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn't wear pants.
Babies' eyes do not produce tears until the baby is approximately size to eight weeks old.
The only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is UNCOPYRIGHTABLE.
Depending upon the shade, the brain may send up to 11 tranquilizing chemicals to calm the body.
Plants watered with warm water grow larger and more quickly than plants watered with cold water.
Did you know, Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
The average person's field of vision encompasses a 200-degree wide angle.
A crocodile always grows new teeth to replace the old teeth! Amazing eh?!
Humans and dolphins are the ONLY species that have sex for PLEASURE.
Did you know, the cigarette lighter was invented before the match.
The colour BLUE can have a calming effect on people.
Male mosquitoes are VEGETARIANS. Only females bite.
It snowed in the Sahara Desert in February of 1979.
Grapes explode when you put them in the microwave.
Did you know, butterflies taste with their FEET.

i dedicate this song to all my Lincoln friends..

2009-07-10T11:03:00.000-07:00

Our life has changed
It's not the same
And the only way to say it
Is say it
It's better

I can't conceal
This way I feel
For all the times we spend together
Forever
Just gets better

Sing what I am trying to say it
You make things better
And no matter what the day is
With you here
It's better

I'll stand by you
If you stand by me
I think it's time that I value it
Coz I believe you
It's better

Oh I'm alright charm to you

I fall in love with everything we do

Memories..

2009-07-10T08:30:00.000-07:00

10 July 2009 (Friday)

Today is the last day of my college, which means i've completed my Foundation in Science Programme. I thought i should be feeling happy and excited cuz i just finished my exam, and i don't need to think about studies for this moment onwards. But.. there's something in my heart that keeps banging on it.. MEMORIES.

7 months of Foundation course passed by so FAST.. Although it has been a SHORT period, but i gained something new in my life.. MEMORIES. Memories between my friends and i.. The time i've spent with them all these while, it's UNFORGETABLE!! Bonnie, the FIRST girl friend i met when i first stepped into this college for the Orientation Day on 5 January 2009. Hehe.. such an intelligent young lady.. who kept saying that she's fat (which is NOT, AT ALL!!)..

Dimple (i like her name a lot!!).. a brilliant young lady. She's a very shy person. Everytime when she wants to talk to the lecturer, she'll definitely bring me along, cuz she didn't dare to go alone. Hehe.. XD

Nurun.. the very BEST friend of mine!! Loves to LAUGH!! a CRY-BABY (just like me..) hehehe.. XD Although she had done a number of courses before enterring Lincoln College, she NEVER give up in Medicine even though she failed for the previous pre-u programmes. I FULLY SUPPORT her!! She has the passion in being a doctor.. and i'm really PROUD of her!!!

SERIOUSLY missing them so much!!! Throughout these period of time, i've learned how to let go.. Sometimes, things just don't go as what we've wish they would be. I wish.. I wish i would STOP crying.. I wish.. i have a time machine now, and REDO all the things that i've done in the past! I wish.. TONNES OF WISHES!!! Remember when we were young and innocent, our parents used to say "Look at the star, and make a wish, your wish will come true.." Now that we've grown up as an adult, we opt to do things by our own, making our own effort in order to succeed.

Just yesterday, i found a photo of me and Liyu in his facebook. I didn't know that he has it. Cuz so far i remember that only Dimple snapped the photos and she saved the photos in her phone. I told her to send to my mail, but unfortunately, she lost her phone. Photo, it's a sign of memory.. People in the photo shows different meanings.. Some represents FRIENDSHIP, some represents LOVE.. it's all taken from the DEEPEST in your HEART.. your SINCERITY.. APPRECIATION.. and GRATEFULNESS. It was cross-culture event when i took the photo with him. Looking at him makes me laugh.. His lips not so THICK also mah.. XD but he has got EXTREMELY GORGEOUS SMILE!! I wonder how he feels when we took that photo together. One thing i can tell about myself is that...

MY HEART DOES BLOSSOMED!!!

Everytime i see him, i'll only have the COURAGE to take a GLANCE on him.. At least.. as for conclusion, he belonged to me once.. he was MINE for two months.. NOT BAD LA.. i mean, i wouldn't ask for more. Hhmmpp..

Right after we finished our last paper this afternoon, it was 3.45p.m. Everyone was busy taking photos with each other. So did i. I SERIOUSLY don't like to say "goodbye" !! It sounds like the END of something (friendship.. love..).. I started CRYING (told you i'm a cry-baby!!) when i see these scene. I hugged my friends tightly especially Nurun and Dimple. They're my loved ones. Same to Bonnie too, she's more like my SISTER. As you know, i'm the ONLY daughter in my family, the FEELING of LONELINESS really CAUSED me lots of TROUBLE during my teenage life. It brought me to be a very REBELLIOUS person.. I started chatting in ICQ when i was in Form 3. I still remember there was an American guy talking about SEX with me.. DAMN DISGUSTING MAN!! There are tonnes of PERVERTED guys in all these chat rooms. EEuuuu... *tongue's out*

I wanted to add more photos, but Sharala just did something wrong to my pendrive!! My files are MISSING!!!! Argh... DAMN PISSED NOW!!!

KEEP IN TOUCH GUYS!!!

~ The best kind of friend is the one you could sit on a porch with,
never saying a word,
and walk away feeling like that was the best conversation you've had ~

Anxiety..!! CAN'T YOU SEE IT ON MY FACE?!?!

2009-06-30T20:39:00.000-07:00

1st July 2009,

time passed by so fast.. next week (6th July) is my finals.. i feel EXTREMELY ANXIOUS right now..

Biology? i think it would be fine for me.
Physics? Redo the exercises he gave us.
Chemistry? OMG!
Maths? SCREWED!!!

i'm in the college now. Was studying for Chemistry in McDonalds. One of the high schools in KL was quarantined. I heard that there's a Form 1 student is officially infected by the influenza (i mean, swine flu). Therefore, my dad forced me to put on the mask from now on. WTH!! people around kept staring at me.. what the heck is wrong with them??!! They must be thinking that i over-do it..

I am NOT supposed to be here!! I am supposed to study RIGHT NOW!!

EQUILIBRIA!!! 13 chapters for CHEMISTRY!!!
TOTAL INSANE!!!!

i wonder when will all these end..???!!

2009-06-28T05:57:00.000-07:00

21 June 2009 (Sunday)

Recently, i knew a guy from Facebook named Simon. He's my ex school friend's ex bf. My ex school friend named Margeret. Both of them are Christians. One is Catholic.. another one is.. erm.. i forgot.. XD *never mind, non of my business also, i don't bother.*

He got my phone number from some other source. I won't tell. But you know.. people just has their own technique to figure out some alternative way to achieve their target.

He sms-ed me. He was like 'nice to meet you'. I didn't get so close with him.. just NORMAL friends. He's a Christian, but his English is not that good la.. i realised that he's actually quite poor in grammar. Sometimes when i read his messages would really makes me laugh..

Just few days ago, i went to check out his facebook again. He's just a normal-looking guy la.. not handsome actually.

But on Sunday (as noted the date above), he confessed to me. Frankly speaking, i was quite annoyed by him la.. He kept calling me ALMOST EVRY NIGHT!!! but the worst part was, he didn't know what to talk about on the phone BECAUSE HE WAS TOO SHY!!! WTH!! then why would you call??!! SINCE YOU'VE GOT NOTHING TO SAY.

Actually i could sensed that he likes me.. He'll message me every day.. he'll be asking 'taken your dinner?' and stuffs like that la.. i got so bored. I remembered he wrote me a poem.. BUT I ACCIDENTLY DELETED IT.. heheheh.. XD

GOSH!!! one more thing that i need to emphasize on him is.. HE'S ONLY 159cm!!! OMG!! he's only 3CM taller than me!!!! Seriously i can't accept a guy with that height.. The basic requirement is AT LEAST 170cm.. But this can't be blame la.. Height is an continuous variation (ALL SCIENCE STUDENTS, WE'VE LEARNED THE CHAPTER "VARIAITON" IN FORM 5).. since they're born to be like that. I won't discriminate them.

*Simon, i'm not humiliating you ok (fyi)..*

Anyhow, i'm sure he's not my ideal type of bf... DEFINITELY NOT!

* I'm sorry, Simon. Didn't mean to hurt your feelings.*

i finally have the courage to tell...

2009-06-27T03:42:00.000-07:00

4 June 2009 (Thursday)

I really can't forget what happened that day. I know it has already passed. Hehe.. everytime i recall back the incident REALLY MAKES ME LAUGH...

Yeap! It was the day i broke up with him. Anyway i dont' want to repeat the what happened at the river side. I left the river side and head on to the LRT station.. as usual.. waited for the Sri Petaling train. Felt so moody.. Found a seat and sat there quietly.. With the French fries he left on the floor. I know he purposely put it on the floor. Since he doesn't like me to waste any food, so i took it back with me.

When the train stopped by at Masjid Jamek station, two Iranian guys came in. Both of them sat in front me. I attracted my vision on them cuz they were EXTREMELY HAIRY!!!! By just looking at their hands, WOW!!! They're like GORILLAZ!!!!

I was enjoying the scenery outside the window.. Suddenly i realised that they kept smiling at me showing their thumbs up.. so i smiled back at them. Then i started eating my French fries.. tried my LEVEL BEST to avoid having eye-contact with these two weirdos.. SCARY MAN..!! I can't stand it when strangers starred at me..

But things didn't went according to what i wished. One of them stood up and walked towards me, he sat beside. My guts told me that something's wrong.. He started talking to me. He asked me where i stay.. am i a student or working dy.. which station i'll get down from the train..

Lastly, he asked me whether i have a phone number or not. I told him i don't have one. It's obvious that i lied. But seriously i was quite annoyed by the questions that he asked. Cuz poeple around me kept looking at us and seemed like they are wondering why this girl so daringly talked to strangers. I'M NOT. My principle is showing my manners. When people smiled at me, even if they're strangers, i'll definitely smile at them back (as long as they don't do me any harm.. so WHY NOT??) right? XD i'm not an ignorant person anyway..

A sudden awkward silence between both of us. I guess he could sensed that i got annoyed by him. When the train stopped by at Bandar Tasik Selatan, he threw a paper into my French fries pack without saying anything. After that, he left the train by waving his hands to me.

When i reached home, i took out the paper that he folded into small size. I opened it. He wrote his number on it!!!

WTF!!! Who the hell he thinks i am??!! I'M NOT A PROSTITUTE OK!!!!!

I SWEAR i won't call such JERK!!!! Even my dad thinks i dressed up like a prostitute!!! Do you know how much it hurts??? I asked lots of my friends. They don't find me look like one. I don't have that sex appeal either. I'm just an ORDINARY person.. Girls like to dress up nicely in front of people, that's actually NORMAL.. What makes him thinks i look like one of "them"..???

After that incident, i didn't dare to tell my father about it, if i did, definitely he'll screw me up.. ban me from wearing short pants to college.. T.T

But just yesterday, i finally have the courage to tell him about the incident. Surprisingly, he didn't mad at him. But in turn, he said that i should have trown away the pack of French fries instead of finishing it, cuz that guy might jampi me!! Hohohohoh.... I'm actually glad that my dad didn't scold me for that.

SEX MANIAC!!!!

2009-06-27T02:53:00.000-07:00

27 June 2009 (Saturday)

Just for your information.. NOT ME OK!!!!

It was just two minutes ago, i signed in to my MSN messenger. Someone added me. So of course i approved. Then i realised that "someone" whom added me was online too!! So i thought of asking him how he knows my email address. Once i clicked on his contact, usually there'll be the conversation column appeared..

Right after i did it, i can't believe what i saw in front of my naked eyes!!! OMG!!!!

I SAW SOMEONE'S PENIS ON THE DISPLAY PHOTO!!!!

I quickly hide the photo column!!! I looked again at that "someone" 's email address. What a weird email address.. a long one.. but never mind, that's not the point. But one thing for sure, HE'S A GUY!!! I mean, us girls won't post up naked photos like our boobs or isolated part to show everyone. I mean, even if we want to ATTRACT people's ATTENTION (especially guys), we'll probably just act SEXY in the photo. NOT SHOWING OUR PRIVATE PARTS!!! Gosh!!!

Seriously i've encountered this TWICE... XD

The moment i was about to BLOCK this guy, he sent me a nudge!!! But luckily i've hidden the photo display column at the side bar there. So i don't have to see "it" again.. Fuh..!!

"hi.." he started off the conversation.
"HEY!! ARE YOU CRAZY??"
"WHY U PUT THAT DISPLAY PHOTO..???"
"yes"
"i'm crazy"
"i like sex"
"do you like"
"do you like my penis?"
"18CM"
"NO!!!"
"MANIAC!!!!"
"whr u from???"
"i'm from paris"
"france"

*Purple - Crazy guy
*Yellow - Me

In no time, my parents got home, i quickly quit the conversation and signed out immediately BEFORE my parents realised. Hehe.. THE END OF CONVERSATION with a sex maniac... XD

ATTENTION GUYS!!!

2009-06-22T09:43:00.000-07:00

23 June 2009 (Tuesday)

Just recently i read an article from the newspaper (date: 10 June 2009).. about the MALE'S Y-CHROMOSOME.. i find it very interesting.. it's related to BIOLOGY..

Australian National University (ANU) evolutionary geneticist, Professor Jenny Graves. Professor Graves is the Head of the Comparative Genomics Research Group at the Research School of Biological Sciences at ANU and is Director of the ARC Centre for Kangaroo Genomics based at ANU and the University of Melbourne. She has received the Nobel Prize for Medicine in 1999.

Her research focuses on the evolutionary history of the human sex chromosomes, X and Y. Her team discovered that the gene on the Y chromosome thought to be responsible for testis development was not located on the Y chromosome in marsupials, which led to two of her former students identifying the correct sex-determining gene present on the Y chromosome both in placental mammals (such as humans and mice) and marsupials which branched off the evolutionary tree some 180 million years ago.

In a research paper to be published in the prestigious journal Cell this week, Professor Graves elaborates on this sex-chromosome research, and the implications of her predicted extinction of the Y-chromosome in human!!

HELLO!!!! The Y-choromosome in male human body is DEGENERATING...!!!

According to the text i read, it says that during CELL DIVISION (meiosis) in each male and female choromosome, if there's mutation occurs, the XX choromosomes are able to repair themselves (self-repairing in short), whereas the XY chromosomes are INCAPABLE in self-repairing!! Hence, it is proven that the Y-chromosomes in a male body has been degenerating since the 180 millions years AGO!!!!

According to Nature Journal, the sex chromosomes are generally believed to have descended from a pair of homologous autosomes. Suppression of recombination between the ancestral sex chromosomes led to the genetic degeneration of the Y chromosome. In response, the X chromosome may become dosage-compensated. Most proposed mechanisms for the degeneration of Y chromosomes involve the rapid fixation of deleterious mutations on the Y-chromosome.

Surveys showed that up to 15% of INFERTILE men has been found. Besides than Biotechnology, scientists have been doing researches regarding the posibilities of . Male has a very vital gene in their body called SRY (Sex-determining Region Y) is a sex-determining gene on the Y-chromosome in the therians (placental mammals and marsupials). This particular gene is interrelated with the testis development and the secretion of male sex hormones.

Presentation....!!!

2009-06-22T09:20:00.000-07:00

23 June 2009 (Tuesday)

It's late night now (12.23a.m.).. and i'm in the middle of completing my presentation slides.. I know i shouldn't be writing my blog now.. BUT... I'M JUST BORED!!!

I've got a lot to write.. but i just need more time..

I'm doing my Physics Presentation on this coming Wednesday.. Rishii joined my group.. The title is Dialysis Machine.. From 9 o'clock just now, i've been searching for information regarding the topic that i'm gonna do..

Final exam is approaching.. it's in July.. i REALLY thought of screwing up ALL the papers.. cuz i've NOT been studying.. I wanted to stay in the hostel, BETTER ENVIRONMENT TO STUDY!! NO DISTRACTIONS.. See what i'm doing NOW??!! ......BLOGGING <<<<< NOW THIS IS WHAT I CALLED AS "DISTRACTION" !!! But the good news is.. i can actually submit my first term exam resluts to IMU since i've met the requirement.. so.. i guess NO WORRIES for my final exam.. *I GUESS*

There's Internet access in my house.. TV.. and.. my BED.. Image that my bed is just RIGHT AT THE BACK of my study table!!! Everytime i have the mood to study, the moment i enter my room.. here comes the distraction.. =.=" and i HATED it so much..!!

The BEST thing of staying in the hostel is.. THE PRESSURE GIVEN BY MY HOUSEMATES.. INDIRECTLY.. My previous housemates are hardworking.. and that gives me the intention to STUDY..

7 more hours i'll be meeting TM. Weee....!!! Miss him so so so so much...!!!!

Wait...!!! i think i lose the mood of continuing my presentation slides.. NVM PUI XIN!!! U can continue tomorrow..!!

Erm... CAN I?? Opps!! I should put it this way >>> "WILL I..??"

I'M CRAVING FOR CHOCOLATE RIGHT NOW!!!!!

2009-06-18T06:55:00.000-07:00

18 June 2009 (Thursday),

i went for a medical checkup few weeks ago.. they took my blood sample and urine sample.. And yesterday, i received a VERY BAD news!!! My parents went to the PATHLAB healthcare centre and took our medical report..

Everything is fine in me.. but the major problem is.. MY URIC ACID LEVEL IS SLIGHTLY HIGER THAN THE NORMAL RANGE.. at first i thought it'll be fine, cuz most probably i inherited from my mum... my mum has the same problem too.. but hers is more serious compared to mine. BUT.. here's the worst news i've ever heard in my entire life!!!

I CAN'T EAT CHOCOLATE ANYMORE!!!!

WTF!!! who the hell in this world doesn't know I'M A CHOCOLATE FREAK!!! I was eating a chocolate bar when i received the news from my dad.. I NEARLY CHOKED OK!!! I feels like.. A CLAP OF THUNDER had just CRASHED on my CHOCOLATE!!!!

POOOFF!!!

The chocolate DISAPPEARED!!!!

My dad started scolding me.. i starred at my chocolate for a long loooong time.. thinking of how to DESTROY the chocolate grabbed tightly in my hand.. WHO THE HELL IN THIS WORLD CREATED CHOCOLATE!!! TELL ME!! i wanna kill that person!!!

The normal range of uric acid in our body is between 0.14 to 0.34, mine is only 0.35!!! CHOCOLATE MAKES ME SPELLBOUND.. i eat chocolate when i feel moody.. when i feel happy.. CHOCOLATE has become my LOVER!!! There's only two things i want in my life..

FIRST - MY BOYFRIEND!!!
SECOND - CHOCOLATE!!!!

My dad told me that i can't eat beans..

"BUT CHOCOLATE IS NOT BEAN!!!" I said.

"I know.. but chocolate is made out of COCOA BEAN.." he replied me in a cool way..

=.=||| *three straight lines appeared on my forehead..*

WELL CAN'T YOU SEE THAT THEY ARE SO DELICIOUS?????!!!!!

THEY'RE MY BABIES...

i read this joke from somewhere in the net.. and i find this joke not funny AT ALL.. it's insulting WOMEN!!!

2009-06-18T06:19:00.000-07:00

A woman is like a pack of cards ...

... You need a heart to love her

... A diamond to marry her

... A club to smash her head in

... And a spade to bury the bitch

That is very TRUE..

2009-06-16T06:46:00.001-07:00

Below are their affection analysis who birth on month November (ME!!!) :

- Has a lot of ideas
- Difficult to fathom (means mysterious..)
- Thinks forward
- Unique and brilliant
- Extraordinary ideas
- Sharp thinking
- Fine and strong clairvoyance
- Can become good doctors ( Wohoo..!! but how about nurse??)
- Careful and cautious
- Dynamic in personality
- Secretive
- Inquisitive
- Knows how to dig secrets
- Always thinking (and day-dreaming too..)
- Less talkative but amiable

A sudden STRONG feeling of becoming a NURSE interrupted my train of thought...

2009-06-16T06:16:00.000-07:00

16 June 2009 (Tuesday)

Nearly EVERY DAY i travel to my college through LRT train, whenever the train stopped by the Cheras station, i'll be able to see lots of nurses entering the carriage.. I saw a chinese lady walked by and she sat beside me, correcting her sitting posture (cuz she is a lil bit big-sized, plus the train was so crowded, everyone was definitely hoping to get a seat..)..

Sitting beside her makes me feel so PROUD.. I love their white dresses.. I’ve seen how beautiful and clean-looking their habit was and my dream rekindled with burning desire to wear such… I was again fascinated by the whiteness of their UNIFORM..

Here's a very funny joke for my readers.. ENJOY!!!

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, still heavily sedated from a difficult four hour, surgical procedure A young student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath.
"Nurse," he mumbles, from behind the mask
"Are my testicles black?" the patient asked.
"I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet." Embarrassed, the young nurse replied.
He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, are my testicles black?"
Concerned that he may elevate his vitals from worry about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and sheepishly pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in the other, lifting and moving them around.
Then, she takes a close look and says, "There's nothing wrong with
them, Sir !!"
The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly,
"Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but listen very, very
closely...
A r e - m y - t e s t - r e s u l t s - b a c k ?"

Isn't it LAME??

I’m now certain that nursing is for me, I love to be with the sick tending to their needs and alleviating the sick. I remembered it was on Monday, there was a middle-aged guy got down from the train, i was walking in front of him.. He was crippled (i'm sorry to say this).. He was walking with limp.. Worst of all, he had to walk step-by-step down the stairs.. I felt so pitiful to him.. I could have HELP him!!!! Until now, i felt so GUILTY due to my heartless act. I REALLY didn't mean to look on unconcerned. But i swear i DID NOT watch with folded arms.. Plus i was rushing on my way to college.. I am still regretting over myself for not helping him to walk down the stairs.. I here by SWEAR that if i encounter such situation again, i'll DEFINITELY help these disabled or needy people!!!

Until now that burning desire has never been dampened, I’m about to persue my nursing diploma abroad soon, and hoping to finish this course and work as I have dreamed…please do pray for me… TQ!

Bored..

2009-06-12T01:53:00.000-07:00

12 June 2009 (Friday)

I was supposed to have Chemistry class today.. but since Bonnie's not coming, so i skipped the class. I'm in the college right now.. feel so boring.. waitin' the time to pass by, patiently..

An hour ago, i just came back from Mid Valley. Met Thom again..

But i'm glad that at least i studied this morning. Biology. Hehe.. Was studying Immunity.. Learned about the structure of ANTIGEN and stuffs like that.. It harded than what we've learned in Form 5. Form 5 was just the basic knowledge.. I always get a Grade A for my biology since i was Form 4. But.. unfortunately.. i got a B3 for it in SPM.. i thought of paying 50 bucks to check my actual result. But never mind..

I'm in the library now.. alone here.. M1 and M3 are having their class now i guess..

GOSH!! Gastric..

5 more minutes i'll have to sign out.. gotta go home.. SLEEP!!!

I spent all my money today.. FINALLY!!!

This morning i went to Mc. Donalds. Thought of buying a sewt meal.. but after i made the order, i realised that i only left 6 bucks in my purse.. F***!! that was so embarrassing.. then, i cancelled my order, and asked for just a coffee which cost me RM3.50!!! then i spent another RM2.30 for an apple pie.. haih..

that's all for now..

bye!!

My daily LOVE horoscope

2009-06-11T07:27:00.000-07:00

Personal growth and change is at a peak right now and you are seeking change in a manner of ways.

The roles that you have been playing are a little tired now, and tradition or custom or routine is going to irritate you today.

For the time being, you've been feeling like you've just been going with the flow, and you are prepared now to make some changes to meet your own needs.

You don't set your expectations too high at all, and don't let anybody else tell you that you do.

So the change that you are needing right now is a change that will put those needs first for a change.

FACE DOWN!!!

2009-06-10T08:14:00.000-07:00

Hey girl, you know you drive me crazy
One look puts the rhythm in my hand.
Still I'll never understand why you hang around
I see what's going down.

Cover up with make up in the mirror
Tell yourself it's never gonna happen again
You cry alone and then he swears he loves you.

Do you feel like a man
when you PUSH her around?
Do you feel better now
as she falls to the ground??
Well, I'll tell you my friend,
One day this world's going to END
as your LIES crumble down,
A NEW LIFE she has found.

A pebble in the water makes a ripple effect
every action in this world will bear a consequence
If you wade around forever you will surely DROWN
I see what's going DOWN.

I see the way you go and say your right again,
Say your right again!
Heed my lecture.

One day she will tell you that she has had ENOUGH
It's coming round again.
Do you feel like a man, when you push her around? Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground? Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end as your lies crumble down, a new life she has.

Face down in the dirt she says,
This doesn't hurt!
She says I finally had ENOUGH..

零

2009-06-09T10:06:00.000-07:00

从来不相信我的世界可以有多完美
　
痛苦寂寞还有一些疲惫

不允许他人随意进入我的零度空间
　
宁愿孤独懒得再去想谁

两个人一起是否只是得到一种安慰　

挣脱过去然后忘记一切

没想过有天我的结局忽然全部改变
　
谁会抓住我的无力双臂

怎么会哭　

谁错谁对

为谁抱歉

不会再哭　

谁错谁对

为谁憔悴

走入零度空间等到一切分裂
　
就算爱的危险我们一起面对

来不及的防备没听过的誓言
　
要我怎么学会多了爱的明天

走出零度空间终于一切分裂
　
就算爱的很累我却不会后悔

放下所有防备一切都无所谓　

逃出黑暗世界开始新的明天　

新的明天

新的世界

Hot n' Cold

2009-06-09T09:48:00.000-07:00

You change your mind
Like a girl changes clothes
You, PMS
Like a bitch
I would know

And you over think
Always speak
Crypticly

I should know
That you're no good for me

Cause you're hot then you're cold
You're yes, then you're no
You're in then you're out
You're up then you're down
You're wrong when it's right
It's black and it's white
We fight, we break up
We kiss, we make up

You don't really want to stay
But you don't really want to go

We used to be
Just like twins
So in sync
The same energy
Now's a dead battery
Used to laugh bout nothing
Now you're plain boring!!

I should know that
You're not gonna change

Someone call the doctor
Got a case of a love bi-polar
Stuck on a roller coaster
Can't get off this ride

I'M A SLUT!!!

2009-06-09T06:42:00.000-07:00

8 June 2009

I overslept this morning.. i woke up at around 7.30am i guess.. Cuz i'm staying quite far from my college.. so usually i'll have to wake up at 7a.m. routinely take my bath.. take an extra long time to look through my closet in detail.. wondering what should i wear today.. (=.=)"
an then wear my contact lens (the brown one).. draw eye liner.. and so on... BY 7.30am, i must leave my house and head on the the LRT station.. 20 minutes journey.. finally i'll reach PWTC.

I didn't tell my father that i was actually late this morning.. Cuz i know he'll definitely start scolding.. cuz last night i slept at around 2a.m., writing my blog.. heheh.. so by the time i reach The Mall, i didn't dare to enter the class.. It's Maths!!! Mr. Matt!! Oh no!! he's gonna detain me from being late for the class.. so i went to fourth floor, the food court.. was studying for Physics alone at the corner.. i was able to concentrate.. but someone just caught my attention.. "someone" that i don't wanna see.. I was so distracted!! My heart beat rate is increasing!!!! I could even hear the sound of the contracting myocardium muscles!!! I CAN HARDLY BREATHE!! I increased the volume of the song (Face Down from Red Jumpsuit Apparatus) that was playing in my Ipod.. FORCING myself to listen to the lyrics!!! All of a sudden, i can't FOCUS on my studies!!! i was so damn PISSED!!! I paid for my drink.. and i quickly packed my notes and stuffs on the table.. CHAO!!! I really can't stay there for much longer!!! I can't stand it!!! I got up from the chair, fasten my foot steps.. AND LEAVE!!!!

Then i went to Mc.Donalds. I was struggling to try my BEST to read the notes.. STATIC EQUILIBRIUM!!! WTF!!! I can't stop thinking about HIM!!! NOOOOOOO...!!! STOP IT!!!

"BEEP!"

Followed by the vibration from my phone.. It's Thom!!! He asked me out for a movie.. Hannah Montana (=.=)"

GOSH!! Miley Cyrus AGAIN??!!! i HATE that show ok!! So childish!!!

Again, i quickly finish my barley.. and went to the KTM station (Putra). Head on to Mid Valley.. But he was late.. So i waited him in front of MPH Bookstore. He wore a white T-shirt and a pair of jeans.. Opps!! i forgot to introduce Thom.. He's a Christian. Normal-looking guy.. Not really handsome.. like i said, i don't go for LOOKS!! LOOKS may DECEIVE!! Thom's TEN YEARS OLDER THAN ME..!! But he is god damn RICH (i noticed that he has got FIVE silver rings on his fingers!!) Owned a shop in Mid Valley.. VERY POPULAR.. Staying in The Gardens Residence. Has a house in PJ. Not TALL.. only 165cm. Has a very good personality.. WAY FAR BETTER THAN THE PREVIOUS BF I HAD (just broke up recently).. gentle.. and a CLASSY person.. When he walks beside me, he'll always put his right hand at the back of him.. The way he talks, WOW!! just like a POLITICIAN.. very strong in his words..

Back to the main topic.. He promised to treat me for a movie.. It's a Premiere movie..

"Why don't we watch it in Mid Valley?" i asked.
"You wanna watch in a crowded place or a quiet place?" he asked me back.
"But.. the tickets are very expensive if we watch in premiere.." I said.
"To me, it's nothing. I want the comfortableness.." he said.

I chosed <17 Again>. He bought the ticket. The movie starts at 1.30p.m. We still have about 45 minutes to hang around in Mid Valley.. He brought me to this restaurant in The Gardens. It's a very classy place.. with very nice and soft music.. The atmosphere there is so romantic.. it can definitely comfort every customers' mind.. The waiter took our order.. I ate Loh Bak.. I guess that's the cheapest among all the food in the menu.. Thom ate Wan Tan Mee..

After our lunch, we head on to the GSC Signature. The cinema hall is filled with couple seats.. While watching.. Thom frequently blew my hair.. he kissed me on the cheek while i was watching the movie.. He kept saying "i love you, Averine.."..

"Averine.. when can you give me your answer?" he asked so desperately.

"Erm.. i don't know.. just give me some time.. please.." A sudden feeling of guiltiness burst in my mind..

NOOOO..!!! TM!!! TM!!! TM!!! TM!!! I LOVE TM!!!

"Averine... please give me a chance.. i really love you so much.. I'm willing to sacrifice for you.. i'm giving you all my love now.. will you please agree with me? I NEED YOU..!"

" ............. " i kept quiet.. ignoring him..

Thom kissed me on the lips passionately..!!! That shouldn't be happening!!! But before he proceed to the next stage (which i really don't want that to happen..).. i STOPPED him..

"Are you sure what we are doing now is right??" i asked.
"I love you, Averine.."

He pressed his lips on mine.. he placed his hands on my thigh.. and he kissed all over my neck.. with his hands around me.. on my boobs..

i knew that is WRONG... i'm sorry TM.. i'm sorry...

I told Anandh about Thom. And he supports me to go for Thom.. Should i? Or should i not? Then how about TM? i can't leave him.. he loves me MORE THAN ANYONE AROUND ME DOES!!

Thom is talking about MARRIAGE..

"Averine.. my age is catching up.. please consider about it.. i will support you all the way long till the end.. we'll stay together forever ok..?"

"How sure are you that we'll stay together till the end..??"

"I'm VERY SURE about it.."

THE TOUCH OF LOVE

2009-06-07T02:47:00.000-07:00

7 June 2009

It's Sunday today.. Dimple called last night.. She asked me where is the place that Mr. Thava (our previous Physics lecturer, he resigned just recently) giving tuition.. I got no idea where is the place. So she asked for my help. I called Purni. I called Jeremy. I even called Mr. Thava. Gosh! he off his phone!

"Why don't you call your friends?" i asked.
"I did! I asked Purni. But she'll always give me the same answer! She'll definitely say 'you go ask yourself la!', so can you help me ask?" she said.

I don't know why, people just doesn't mix with her. She's kinda lonely.. But so far, i find her actually a very good friend. She can be my BEST friend instead of Bonnie!! I like her a lot! Although we have a little argument at times, she has her point and i have mine too, but in the end, we are always fine..

This morning, we meet up at the entrance of The Mall. Hehe.. TM and his friend (so called "sky") too came along! I introduced both of them to Dimple. We were chatting.. chatting.. Suddenly, Dimple's aunty called and ask her when to go back home. In no time, she said goodbye, i gave her a hug before she leave.

Hehe.. after Dimple left, there was a sudden awkward silence around us..

"So how now??" asked TM.

Two of them just stared at me for no reason.. I smiled at them and said..

"Let's go to Petaling Street!" i shouted.

Both of them gave me a weird look on their face.. (O.o)

Hahahah.. I pulled TM's hand and drag him along to the LRT station.. We head on to Plaza Rakyat and we walked to Petaling Street. I shared a bowl of porridge with TM. Gosh!! He is still the same old guy i knew last time.. LOVE TO TEASE ME.. NON STOP MAKING ME LAUGH..

His friend, Sky was chased out of his house last night, because his father found out that he sneaked out almost every night and loaf around outside the house with his friends. So last night he had to stay over night at TM's house. Gosh! He's same age as me, but he smokes! TM is such a caring guy.. He scolded Sky not to smoke when i'm there. Hehe..

After having breakfast with them, we went to Kota Raya. Gosh!! So many Vietnamese.. TM attempted to kiss me but i avoided. After that, we went to Mc.Donalds. We ordered two Oreo McFlurry. I LOVE IT!!! I LOVE OREO!!!

At last, we decided to go back to PWTC.

Being with TM.. reminds me of so many past memories that we have.. One of the most UNFORGETABLE incidents that happened, i ponteng class and went to his house. We had a really GREAT TIME together.. i never knew that he would treat me so good.. until he was willing to resign from his job BECAUSE OF ME!!! Although we were just being together for about FIVE MONTHS (116 days!!), but it seemed like we've been together for FIVE YEARS!!! the feelings are VERY STRONG every day!!! The SPARK!!!

THE SPARK OF LOVE FLICKERED IN OUR HEART!!!

We were so in love with each other.. SO SO SO IN LOVE!!! Let's continue the story.. i met his family.. they treat me very well.. they're all very friendly.. i had my breakfast and lunch at his house.. and i did FACIAL TREATMENT for him.. GOSH!!! he has got very smooth and fair skin.. His mum is so PRETTY!! He inherited it from his mum.. I could see that he really enjoyed when i was doing the treatment for him... he was asleep.. i took a photo of him when he was asleep with the mask on his face.. I DON'T GO FOR LOOKS!! When i look at him.. i OBSERVED every single hair on his face.. he is not handsome.. but he is BEAUTIFUL.. beautiful on the OUTSIDE and INSIDE too!!!! I never knew a guy in my life would willing to sacrifice so much for me..

I HAD FOUND THE GREATEST LOVE!! He is AWFULLY GOOD to me!! The relationship we were developing was sweet .. "spicy" at times.. He's an extraordinary combination of all the things a girl wants!! He's an IDEAL HUSBAND!! REALLY!! TRUST ME!!! He was like part of my soul.. In front of him, i don't have to pretend, i don't feel shy.. i don't have to care how i dress up myself.. i don't mind if he just wear t-shirt and jeans when we date.. i don't mind if he burps loudly in front of me.. i don't mind even if he farts!!

Above all, the PASSION and LOVE we shared had brought us both in peace. It was an union that soothed both our souls. I enjoyed his sunny spirit, his energy, his humour, and also his tenderness. I felt SAFER with him than i ever had with anyone in my life!!!

"HAVE YOU EVER FEEL LIKE YOU HAD BLOSSOMED LIKE A FLOWER UNDER THE SUNSHINE?"

Well, i experienced it!

It was raining cats and dogs that evening.. i ride on his bike. We never know it would rain.. before we left his house, the sky was blue.. but when we were about to reach Bukit Jalil, i could feel the rain drops on my hands.. it was painful when the raindrops hit on our skin! The raindrops were "growing" heavier and bigger in size.. Both of us were TOTALLY WET!! He stopped by under a fly-over bridge on top of us. Both of us were shivering.. it was so cold.. He never say a word, and then HUGGED me tightly feeling like it was the BEST conversation we've ever had!! He kissed me on my lips.. and said "I LOVE YOU".. he promised me that he'll protect me in whatever situation.. he kept apologizing to me cuz he failed that time. But i didn't blame him.. It wasn't his fault. I used my finger to cover his mouth, stopping him from apologizing.. and I kissed him on his cheek and tell him "I LOVE YOU TOO!"..

He wanted me to stay and wait till the rain stops, but i refused. I told him that i don't want. I wanted him to bring me to the LRT station and we could dry our clothes there in the toilet. So we head on to our destination. Unfortunately, i didn't noticed that my father was already there waiting.. Daddy saw both of us.. He found out that i ponteng eventually. I got scolded by my father very badly when he dragged me into the car.. People around us kept starring.. But i didn't care.. My mind was FULL of thoughts of him.. my heart eased with his WARMTH..

Another few PERASAN photos on cross-culture day..

2009-06-06T01:49:00.001-07:00

peace...!!!

smileys...

sad faces...

cool cool..

Soulmate

2009-06-05T11:19:00.000-07:00

Incompatible, it don't matter though
'cos someone's bound to hear my cry
Speak out if you do
you're not easy to find

Is it possible Mr. Loveable
is already in my life?
right in front of me
or maybe you're in disguise

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
who knows how to love you without being told
somebody tell me why I'm on my own
if there's a soulmate for everyone

Here we are again, circles never end
how do I find the perfect fit
there's enough for everyone
but I'm still waiting in line

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
who knows how to love you without being told
somebody tell me why I'm on my own
if there's a soulmate for everyone

Most relationships seem so transitory
They're all good but not the permanent one

what have i done??

2009-06-05T10:07:00.000-07:00

4 June 2009 (Thursday)

Everything was fine in the beginning.. I was having a very serious headache last night.. i wasn't able to revise for my biology diagnostic test.. so i slept for the whole night..

The next day i went to college as usual.. i was EXTRAORDINARILY missing him so much more than i did usually.. i've not been talking to him for like.. FIVE DAYS already.. It's so UNUSUAL for a pair of couple to experience this..

I did quite well in my biology diagnostic test.. i got 42 out of 60. It's a grade A!!! i'm satisfied with my result. In fact, i was called to sit in front with Angie, cuz Bonnie and i kept talking and talking non-stop at the back. So Ms. Fatima (our Biology lecturer) wasn't happy with our disrespectful attitude.. Yet, i'm able to PROVE to her successfully that I AM NOT WEAK IN BIOLOGY!!! at least i could do better than those who studied!! I'm really proud of myself in this subject..

Today is my friend, Vivien's 18th Birthday. Melvin planned to do her a surprise party. After class, we all gathered in Denning Mourt. Before that, i wanted to go to toilet. I saw "Turtle" right in front of the corridor.. but instead of talking to me, he pulled one of the girl's hand, and chat with her as if like i'm INVISIBLE.. i got so UPSET... it feels like... HEART BROKEN.. does he know that everytime i saw him, even though i don't give any response, but in my heart, i am so happy??

I felt so moody suddenly.. just feel like i wanna go home... i just wanna be alone.. i'm seeing walking further and further away from me... i'm trying so hard to reach him again from far, but i failed.. he wanted to follow, i told him not to. He insisted to come. He bought me an apple pie for lunch. He brought me to the river side that we used to go.. when he talked to me, he kept looking on the ground.. he got so angry and he scolded me very badly.. after awhile, he got up from the grass that he was sitting on, he packed his stuff, and he just walked away without saying anything.. He said i treated him like a stranger.. did i?

i've got a lot of things that i want to do with him.. i once thought of hugging him.. but i failed.. i once thought of kissing him too.. but i failed again.. i really wish i could have wrapped in his arms.. I've got a lot to tell him... but seems like there's no chance for me already...

and now.. we've already broke up.. i never tell him that i love him.. but it's too LATE now.. I knew this will end.. but i just have to let go.. who's wrong, who's right, it's not important anymore.. I just hope he'll stay happy.. and forget me.. i had a great time with him.. but all these moments had become memories.. but they'll store in my mind till the end.. but it wasn't supposed to end this way.. he'll have to move on in his life now.. he deserves a better gf.. not me..

~ end of the story ~

Random photos on Teacher's Day.. [16 May 2009]

2009-06-05T09:24:00.000-07:00

Cross-Culture Event [21 June 2009]

2009-06-05T08:45:00.000-07:00

5 June 2009

I borrowed a sari from Dimple's aunty. Gosh!!!! i just LOVE the INDIAN CULTURE!!! Bonnie told me that i am supposed to be born as an INDIAN.. hehe.. just today, Charmaine told me i looked like an Indian and Chinese mixed blood (means Chindian).. Woohooooo.....!!! i wish i am!!

I purposely bought the accessories for the sari in order to make myself look like a typical Indian.. Opps!!! Forgot to tell, i pierced my nose too!!!! ahahahahaha... I enjoyed people praising me.. even an Indian guy passed by me, he said i looked good in Sari.. hehehe!!! I took a lot of photos that day!! but was kinda hard to walk, cuz it was too tight for me.

I purposely skip my breakfast just to avoid being too full, my tummy.. But one of my lecturers said i'll look even better if i'm just a little bit more FLESHY @_@

Suganti (M1) and me (J1)

My dear Nurun.. you're really my BEST friend regardless..

Kong Wai and Danny..

Prakash and me..

Anandh, me and Rishii

Jin Hong and Dalwin

Sangeetha and Naren (the greatest couple)

Nushan and Sundeep

A Night At The Oscars [27 March 2009]

2009-06-05T07:13:00.000-07:00

5 June 2009

That night was really a wonderful night for me.. It felt like a START OF A NEW STORY in my life..

Bonnie, Vivien and i went to Mid Valley, we took the ktm in Putra. I spent less than 50 bucks for the accessories.. that day really a tiring day for us.. we walked here and there.. After that, we went to Charmaine's house. We took bath there. Bonnie helped me to draw the eye liner (the liquid one).. She helped me to tie my hair up too.. it looked good.. i bought a GREY colour contact lens.. i looked like a VAMPIRE.. XD

When everything was done, we head on to Renaissance Hotel, KL by Charmaine's father's car. It was kinda boring at first, but it turned out became an UNFORGETABLE night for me.. The food there was normal only.. Shhhss!! no oyster!!! i just ate a plate of spaghetti (with cheese sauce!!!!)...

I LOVE CHEESE!!!!!!

Then.. hehe.. "Turtle" proposed to me!! At first he brought me walking around the hotel.. and we were chatting all the way long.. He teased me at times.. I don't know how we got so close suddenly.. but it just happened naturally.. I NEVER thought he would like me.. all these incidents happened was TOTALLY out of my expectations..

We were chatting.. but throughout the conversation, i was looking at some other place, i DON'T DARE to look at him.. But after awhile, he got so pissed because i didn't look at him when he talked, and he said that was very rude to him.. i was just TOO SHY.. in the end, i was forced to look into his eyes when he pushed me to the wall.. Wooo... XD

"Do you like me?" he asked.

"No." i answered. Hahaha.. i did it on purpose. What a cool answer huh? XD so perasan... Girls must know HOW and WHEN to jual mahal in front of the GUYS!!!!!

I told him that i'll let him know my decision on Saturday (28 March 2009).

Hehehe.. It's a "YES!!!!"...

He's our principal, Mr. Matt

i'm sitting right on the left side..

hi everyone.. i'm back to my blog now..

2009-06-05T06:57:00.000-07:00

5 July 2009

Don't know why.. i MISS my blog so much all of a sudden.. someone in my windows live messenger remind me of that indirectly.. it's been few months already i've not sign in to my blog.. full of mould dy... hehe.. just feel like writing something.. i've got a lot to tell.. regarding RELATIONSHIPS.. STUDIES.. LIFE.. all sorts of events happening everyday.. Anyway.. don't worry.. i'll keep my blog update from now on..

[Don't Go Away] by By2

2009-06-05T06:54:00.000-07:00

Looking through your eyes
there’s nothing to hide
And you’re no longer mine
How could I survive when you say goodbye
Why do birds still fly up high?

Can’t stop the tears from fallin’
We used to be so fine
when you walked into my life
I tried to reach out for you just to be with you
My heart is breakin’

Don’t Don’t Go Away
Baby, don’t you know, I miss you so.
Don’t Don’t Go Away,
I’ve never been on my own before.

Can’t you hear me just take me with you
So don’t don’t go away

Don’t Don’t Go Away,
Baby, don’t you know, I miss you so.
Don’t Don’t Go Away,
I’ve never been on my own before.
So won’t you feel my heartbeat once more

Rhyme Time

2009-01-14T23:50:00.000-08:00

Newt Eye : Fruit Pie : Mute Guy
Squeeze the juice of a newt eye into a fruit pie and turn talkers to mute guys..

Frog Gut : Dog Butt : Bog Mutt
One cup of frog gut rubbed on a dog's butt turns enemies to bog mutts..

Scum Slime : Some Time : Dumb Crime
Boil some scum slime and stir it for some time, and your rival will be arrestd for doing a dumb crime.

hehehe..

2009-01-14T23:44:00.000-08:00

What do you call a pig with three eyes??

A pi - i - ig

try guess..

2009-01-14T23:38:00.000-08:00

If a red house is made of red bricks,
a blue house made from blue bricks,
and a pink house made from pink bricks,

WHAT'S A GREEN HOUSE MADE FROM?

green bricks??

WRONG!!!!

I HATE PHYSICS!!!!

2009-01-14T23:13:00.000-08:00

15 January 2009

Yesterday i had a Physics diagnostic test.. Usually when we finished a chapter, Mr. Thava, whom is our Physics lecturer, he'll gve us a dignostic test.. to test our ability of understanding and to see our improvement..

It was only a 15 questions test. Not Multiple-Choice Questions of course. When the lecturer hand over the paper to me, i thought i would be able to do it.. cuz in that morning, i did my revision for the first chapter - KINEMATICS..

YES! THE FIRST CHAPTER "ONLY"!!!

Bt the questions were harder than i've thought.. I can do NONE of them!! DAMN!!!

I was cracking my head to figure out the solution to solve it, but i failed!! I fed up eventually..

The world class runner can complete the 400m sprint in 48s. If you can only completesame distance in 64s, how far are you behind the runner?

There was this another question.. Mr. Thava told us that we need to think LOGICALLY to find the answer..

The distance between two jetties along the Rejang River in Sarawak is 10km. For an upstream journey, it took 3 hours and forthe downstream journey, it took only 2 and a half hours. Calculate the speed of the water current.

Can anyone help me?? I'm stucked!!!

Lincoln College Asia Pacific

2009-01-01T23:11:00.000-08:00

Lincoln College Asia Pacific is an institution for students to undertake pre-tertiary programmes which allows students to gain entry into the top universities the world over.

Lincoln is specialsed in providing pre-tertiary programmes for entry into the worlds best universities.

As the leading provider of the Foundation in Science [FSc.] programme in the country, Lincoln is partnered with universities who accept students for a variety of programmes especially for medicine, dentistry and pharmacy.

Lincoln has over the last seven years established ourselves as a permier provider for niche programmes in critical courses.

My brain is going to burst!!!

2008-12-29T20:42:00.000-08:00

The pathway of taking Medicine is to study Pre-Medical (equivalent to Foundation in Science)..

The duration is 9 to 12 months..

The total fee is RM10,000..

After that, i'll be send to study abroad. Let's say, Indonesia, India, Melbourne, Russia and other specific countries..

5 YEARS!! it'll be a very hard time for me..

Furthermore, i have to do my specialisation.. Another few years needed..

But i really don't wanna FAIL my parents anymore!! I neen to repay them.. their SACRIFICATION!!! I've spent too much of their money.. I want to make them feel PROUD of my success!! i want to succeed in life!!

TM and i have been arguing about our future.. In the end, he decided to follow me if i were to study overseas.. But he's just so stubborn.. I don't want him to sacrifice for me too much.. He asked me whether he or my parents are in my first position.. I told him that wasn't the point!!!

The point is.. Whether i should choose my STUDIES or LOVE!!! which one??!! Of course my studies!! I just hope that he'll understand my situation.. It's very crucial time for me now.. I want to have a better and stable career in the future!!

FINE! i'm gonna take MEDICINE..

2008-12-29T19:29:00.000-08:00

28th December 2008

Frankly.. i still feel so shocked when i kept telling myself that i have to take MEDICINE..

That wasn't my plan.. but i HAVE to change my mind for a BRIGHTER FUTURE..

On Sunday.. i went to Kasturi College at First World Nationwide Plaza.. I met the Programme Director and i talked to him (Mr. Bala).. I told him the course i preferred to enroll in..

Biomedical Science
Biotechnology
Bioinformatics

But he discouraged me from taking the above three courses.. The reason is these three fields require another TEN to FIFTEEN YEARS to develop!! He said, it's only waste your time and money.. All of a sudden, i just felt so AIMLESS.. my mind was BLANK!! I don't know what to do the next..

He strongly encourage me to take MEDICINE, PHARMACY, DENTISTRY..
I'm not interested in Dentistry because everytime when i saw the dentist tried to pull out the patient's teeth.. i could feel my hairs on my body were raising up.. So, for sure i'm not choosing to be a dentist..

Pharmacist?? Oh! definitely NO!! why do i have to struggle myself for it?? I have to admit that i'm not so good in Chemistry.. Though i'll work hard for it.. But didn't mean i have to torture myself to be a pharmacist, right? hehe..

How about DOCTOR? That would be another new and exciting experience for me.. The fact is.. I LOVE BIOLOGY!! I'm so keen in studying living things.. EXCEPT PLANTS!! Knowing that actually rabbits eat their own shit.. HAHAHAHAHA!!! so funny.. Knowing that cows have four stomaches.. WOW!! incredible, right?? i wonder how nature evolve until all these changes happened..

However.. my grandma wanted me to be a pharmacist.. Mr. Bala told me that taking NURSING course is JOBLESS!! i was terrified when he said that to me.. All these while, i thought being a nurse is a very good choice.. But when he asked me the consequences of being a nurse.. ESPECIALLY after marriage. Wil you have enough time to manage your family?? To raise up your children while you have to work shift in the hospital?? Your husband?? He's TRUE.. VERY TRUE..

I once told myself.. No matter how much i love my job.. My family will always be in the FIRST POSITION in my heart.. This is the fact that will never change.. i don't want it to change.. And i won't let it CHANGE!!! I want to be a caring WIFE, but only cares about my patients!! i want to be a LOYAL wife..

What say you?? Do you support me??

Leona Lewis - Run

2008-12-29T19:23:00.000-08:00

I'll sing it one last time for you

Then we really have to go

You've been the only thing that's right

In all I've done

And I can barely look at you

But every single time I do

I know we'll make it anywhere

Away from here

[chorus]

Light up, light up

As if you have a choice

Even if you cannot hear my voice

I'll be right beside you dear

Louder louder

And we'll run for our lives

I can hardly speak I understand

Why you can't raise your voice to say

To think I might not see those eyes

Makes it so hard not to cry

And as we say our long goodbye

I nearly do

[chorus]

Light up, light up

As if you have a choice

Even if you cannot hear my voice

I'll be right beside you dear

Louder louder

And we'll run for our lives

I can hardly speak I understand

Why you can't raise your voice to say ...

I almost fainted at Sunway Pyramid!!

2008-12-26T00:57:00.000-08:00

25th December 2009..

It was Christmas Day..

I was supposed to visit Ateli3r's house.. She invited us for lunch.. TM was supposed to come with me to.. Nanalicious told me that she couldn't make it coz she need to follow her mum to Malacca for a wedding ceremony.. Well, Anandh had prayers to do.. Magen?? I don't care!!

However, i didn't get the chance to go to Ateli3r's house too.. My mum told me that she'll bring me to Sunway Pyramid to buy New Year clothes.. Haiz.. In the end, i had to cancelled it.. I though i could go to TM's house to visit his new bedroom.. Hehe..

So i quickly had my shower and head on to SP by my auntie's car.. The very first shop that i vist was MESSAGE. They sell two different age groups of garments.. For Ladies ONLY. i tried on two sts of clothes.. they were nice.. I mean the clothes.. i bought a pair of trousers.. you guess how much it cost??

RM109!!!

And i bought a shirt.. RM69!!

Plus my mum's clothes - The total amount is..

RM2000+++ !!!

Can you believe that??!! We spent almost an hour in that shop, and it was like having a fashion show inside it!!! My mum kept trying clothes inside the fitting room.. But she looked nice too.. REALLY!!

At that moment.. everything turned upside-down.. I felt like vomitting.. I told my grandma that i have to go to the toilet immediately.. i can't focus my vision.. i can't see things properly.. My vision was extremely blurred.. i SWEAR i REALLY didn't know what was happening to me.. but frankly speaking.. that kind of feeling was TERRIBLE!!!

i tried not to vomit in front of the people.. i searched everywhere for toilet.. Finally, i FOUND it!! All the people starring at me.. They could sense that i wasn't feel right.. i accidently hit the wall coz i couldn't pay attention on my way.. A Malay guy tried to help me.. but eventually he didn't..

i went into the toilet and i could feel that my entire body was shivering.. i felt so cold inside.. i looked so blue.. i tried to take out my hp and give a call to TM.. but i got no energy.. all of a sudden, i felt so tired.. Plus i was having my menstruation.. my lower abdormal part was pain..

I stayed in the toilet for less than half an hour.. my auntie brought me out.. and bought me some bread and a cup of hot milo.. we went home immediately.. my mum asked me whether i want to see the doctor.. but i refused.. i believe that i'll be alright soon..

When i reached home, i ate medicine and i took a nap.. i'm feeling ok now.. Fuh!! i'm glad that i'm not staying in the hospital!!

I had a dream..

2008-12-23T20:31:00.000-08:00

22nd December 2008..

I had this dream.. Part of it was a nightmare.. How should i start?? Erm.. it began with a very sweet relationship.. but NOT with TM.. IT'S WITH PB.. Oh my Goodness.. i just can't believe that he EXISTED in my DREAM!!! How could it be??!!

I SWEAR I REALLY don't want this to happened.. I admit that MAYBE i do still have feelings for him.. but.. there's NO WAY that he could appear in my DREAM!! I just can't figure it out what's going on in my BRAIN!! What am i thinking?!!

He is NOT SUPPOSED to be in my mind.. i hope this will not last long.. i REALLY hope this will only stay temporary.. I can't let this disrupt my mind.. OK, maybe the feeling of jealousy remained in my mind.. but.. i know i should be wishing him HAPPILY FOREVER..

What to do.. I was the one who dumped him at first due to THE EXISTENCE OF A THIRD PERSON, that is Howe2. It was obviously my FAULT.. i knew that he really loved me.. but i was just too cruel to hurt him so bad.. I'm sorry, Daniel.. Really sorry.. I hope you would forgive me WITHOUT forgetting me.. XD

He was riding a.. (erm.. i forgot what vehicle was that..) motorcycle OR a bicycle.. ARGH!! I JUST CAN'T REMEMBER!!! He came to my house, he asked me out!!! I could still remember how i feel that moment.. I was totally overwhelmed!!! It seemed like it's all i've been awaiting for..

BUT.. it wasn't a suitable timing.. my parents were at home.. they witnessed everything.. They didn't really approve.. but i tried so hard to beg them.. JUST LET ME OUT!!! Finally i could hang out with him..

OK, i can't really remember what we (PB and I) did.. but they were all sweet memories.. When i came home, my parents and i had a talk PERSONALLY.. They disagreed the relationship between PB and I. Fine, i got no idea how me and him got together..

One day.. PB and I decided to run away.. I was the one who drive the car.. I don't know what car was that.. It was just some random car existed in my dream.. Suddenly, i saw my parents' car passed by us!! And they saw us too!! ALL OF A SUDDEN.. I hitted my parents' car, i tred to avoid their car but i failed..

After that.. i realised that my father had died from the accident..

I was frightened and i woke up from my bed.. i looked at the time from my hp.. and it was only 3 something in the morning.. i tried to sleep again.. but i can't.. i kept thinking the reason why i had this horrible dream.. that wasn't my expectation.. REALLY!!

马来西亚华语

2008-12-14T22:47:00.000-08:00

中国人：今晚你有空吗？我没空！
马来西亚华人：今晚你得不得空？我不得空！

中国人：饼干受潮了…。
马来西亚华人：饼干'漏风'了…。

中国人：从上海去苏州要多少个小时？
马来西亚华人：从上海去苏州要几粒钟？

中国人：难道他不可以来吗？
马来西亚华人：你不给他不来啊？

中国人：周杰伦不喜欢穿内裤。
马来西亚华人：周杰伦不喜欢穿底裤。

中国人：我一向都是这样的
马来西亚人：我一路来都是这样的啦

中国人：我的手机掉进沟渠了。
马来西亚华人：我的手机掉进龙沟了。

中国人：这样你不是很不值得吗？
马来西亚华人：这样你'马'很不 '歹'？

中国人：你真是聪明！
马来西亚华人：你真是pan nai！(源自马来语pandai，聪明的意思)

中国人：你安静！
马来西亚华人：你diam diam！(源自马来语diam，安静的意思)

中国人：我要去银行取款。
马来西亚华人：我要去银行 '按钱'。

中国人：为什么？
马来西亚华人：做么？

中国人：你很强~
马来西亚华人：你很够力~

中国人：明天也叫他一起去吧！
马来西亚华人：明天叫'埋'他一起去！

中国人：我很郁闷~~~
马来西亚华人：我很'显'（sien）啊~~~~（'显'比郁闷的境界更高）

中国人：你再说我就打你！
马来西亚华人：你再说我就hood你！（有点粗俗的）

中国人：你在说什么？
马来西亚华人：你在说sommok？

中国人：你不要令我丢脸~
马来西亚华人：你不要'下水' 我~

中国人：真被你气到…。
马来西亚华人：被你炸到…。

中国人：你别乱来~
马来西亚华人：你表乱乱来~

中国人：你很无聊
马来西亚华人：你很废

中国人：XX你
马来西亚华人：Kanasai（意思是像大便一样，骂人的话）

中国人：迫切
马来西亚华人：bek chek

中国人：我们一起吃这碗面~
马来西亚华人：我们'公司'吃这碗面~（源自马来语的kongsi，就是一起分享的意思）

中国人：今天的天气很热~
马来西亚华人：今天的天气热到。。。。。。（'到'字要拉长，然后没有下文了）

中国人：哇!
马来西亚华人：哇捞weh!!!!

中国人：我受不了他！
马来西亚华人：我behtahan他！

中国人：有嗎?
马来西亚华人：哪裡有哦?

中国人：很好笑!
马来西亚华人：幾好笑!

爱一个人

2008-12-14T22:20:00.000-08:00

如果你不爱一个人,

请放手.

好让别人有机会爱她.

如果你爱的人放弃了你,

请放开自己,

好让自己有机会爱别人.

有的东西你再喜欢也不会属于你的,

有的东西你再留恋也注定要放弃的.

人生中有许多种 .

但别让自己为一种伤害.

有些缘分是注定要失去的,

有些缘分是永远都不会有好结果的,

爱一个人不一定要拥有,

但拥有一个人就一定要好好的去爱她.

男人哭了是因为他真的爱了.

女人哭了是因为她真的放弃了.

如果真诚是一种伤害,

我选择谎言;

如果谎言一种伤害,

我选择沉默;

如果沉默是一种伤害,

我选择离开.

如果失去是苦，

你怕不怕付出 ,

如果迷乱是苦，

你会不会选择结束,

如果追求是苦，

你会不会选择执迷不悟 ,

如果分离是苦，

你要向谁倾诉,

好多事情都是后来才看清楚,

好多事情当时一点也不觉得苦!!!!

*** 爱 & 缘分 ***

１.她無聊時陪她

２.她難過時安慰她

３.男生要主動點

４.多約女友出去

５.不能讓女友主動約

６.讓她每天都開心愉快

７.要好好對待女友

８.順從女友的意

９.不要讓她傷心難過

１０.當她被欺負要立刻去保護她

１１.不要隱瞞女友事情

１２.不能背叛女友

愿天下有情人终成眷属

2008-12-14T20:47:00.000-08:00

爱的感觉，总是在一开始觉得很甜蜜，
总觉得多一个人陪、多一个人帮你分担，
你终於不再孤单了，至少有一个人想著你、恋著你，
不论做什么事情，只要能一起，就是好的，
但是慢慢的，随著彼此的认识愈深，
你开始发现了对方的缺点，於是问题一个接著一个发生，
你开始烦、累，甚至想要逃避，
有人说爱情就像在捡石头，总想捡到一个适合自己的，
但是你又如何知道什么时候能够捡到呢？

*她适合你，那你又适合她吗?
其实，爱情就像磨石子一样，
或许刚捡到的时候，你不是那么的满意，
但是记住人是有弹性的，很多事情是可以改变的，
只要你有心、有勇气，与其到处去捡未知的石头，
还不如好好的将自己已经拥有的石头磨亮磨，你开始磨了吗？
很多人以为是因为感情淡了，所以人才会变得懒惰。
错！
其实是人先被惰性征服，所以感情才会变淡的。

*在某个聚餐的场合, 有人提议多吃点虾子对身体好，
这时候有个中年男人忽然说「十年前，当我老婆还是我的女朋友的时候，她说要吃十只虾，我就剥二十只给她！现在，如果她要我帮她剥虾壳，开玩笑！我连帮她脱衣服都没兴趣了，还剥虾壳咧！

*听到了吗？明白了吗？
难怪越来越多人只想要谈一辈子的恋爱，却迟迟不肯走入婚姻。
因为，婚姻容易让人变得懒惰。
如果每个人都懒得讲话、懒得倾听、懒得制造惊喜、懒得温柔体贴，
那么夫妻或是情人之间，又怎么会不渐行渐远渐无声呢？

所以请记住：
有活力的爱情，是需要适度殷勤灌溉的，谈恋爱，更是不可以偷懒的喔！

*有一对情侣，相约下班後去用餐、逛街，
可是女孩因为公司会议而延误了，当她冒著雨赶到的时候已经迟到了30多分钟，
他的男朋友很不高兴的说：你每次都这样，现在我甚么心情也没了，我以後再也不会等你了！刹那间，女孩终於决堤崩溃了，她心里在想：或许，他们再也没有未来了

*同样的在同一个地点，另一对情侣也面临同样的处境；女孩赶到的时候也迟到了半个钟头，他的男朋友说：我想你一定忙坏了吧！接著他为女孩拭去脸上的雨水，并且脱去外套盖在女孩身上，此刻，女孩流泪了, 但是流过她脸颊的泪却是温馨的。

你体会到了吗？

*其实爱、恨往往只是在我们的一念之间！
爱不仅要懂得宽容更要及时，很多事可能只是在於你心境的转变罢了！

懂了吗？
当有个人爱上你，而你也觉得他不错。
那并不代表你会选择他。

*我们总说：我要找一个你很爱很爱的人，才会谈恋爱。
但是当对方问你，怎样才算是很爱很爱的时候，你可能无法回答他，因为你自己也不知道。

*没错，我们总是以为，我们会找到一个自己很爱很爱的人。
可是後来，当我们猛然回首，我们才会发觉自己曾经多么天真。
假如从来没有开始，你怎么知道自己会不会很爱很爱那个人呢？
其实，很爱很爱的感觉，是要在一起经历了许多事情之後才会发现的。
或许每个人都希望能够找到自己心目中百分之百的伴侣，但是你有没有想过在你身边会不会早已经有人默默对你付出很久了，只是你没发觉而已呢？
所以，还是仔细看看身边的人吧！他或许已经等你很久喽！

*当你爱一个人的时候，爱到八分绝对刚刚好。
所有的期待和希望都只有七八分；剩下两三分用来爱自己。
如果你还继续爱得更多，很可能会给对方沉重的压力，让彼此喘不过气来，完全丧失了爱情的乐趣。

*所以请记住，喝酒不要超过六分醉，吃饭不要超过七分饱，爱一个人不要超过八分

*那天朋友问我：到底该怎么做才算是爱一个人呢？
我笑著跟他说：其实每个人的爱情观都不一样，说对了叫开导，但就怕说错反倒变成误导。
那就糟糕了！

*如果你也正在为爱迷惘，或许下面这段话可以给你一些启示：

爱一个人，要了解，也要开解；
要道歉，也要道谢；
要认错，也要改错；
要体贴，也要体谅；
是接受，而不是忍受；
是宽容，而不是纵容；
是支持，而不是支配；
是慰问，而不是质问；
是倾诉，而不是控诉；
是难忘，而不是遗忘；
是彼此交流，而不是凡事交代；
是为对方默默祈求，而不是向对方诸多要求；
可以浪漫，但不要浪费；
可以随时牵手，但不要随便分手。

JEALOUSY is the main root of most broke-up couples..

2008-12-04T23:52:00.001-08:00

It was on 27th NOVEMBER 2008..

It was the last day of SPM.. After we've done our EST Paper 2, our gang (Ateli3r, Nanalicious, Anandh, Magen and ME) went to Al-Nainas for lunch.. Nana's mother made curry chicken rice for us.. I didn't know about it at first.. So i thought that i'll hang out with TM.. I immediately called TM to inform him about it.. I was thinking to invite him to come along with us and have lunch together.. though that wasn't our plan.. But it doesn't matter, right??

Actually we were planning to hang out at the park near by the school.. But TM wasn't happy with my suggestion.. So he went away without my foreknowledge..

THREE DAYS TWO NIGHTS

2008-12-04T23:11:00.000-08:00

it was on 3 NOVEMBER 2008..The day after my birthday..

TM came over to my house..
Actually he planned to stay over night.. ONLY ONE NIGHT!!!

But eventually it was TWO NIGHTS..

it was SEVEN days before my SPM!!!!

We buat itu FOUR TIMES in THREE DAYS!!!

My menstruation jus end.. According to one of his friends, he said i wouldn't get pregnant if i have sexual intercourse right after menstruation.. THAT'S TRUE!!! i was kinda worried at first.. but i took the RISK!!

I cleaned his ears with FOUR cotton buds.. it was full of yellowish SHITS in it.. i could see them clearly.. LISTEN!!! This is what a WIFE should do after marriage.. So, there's no point that us girls keep complaining that this is disgusting or whatsoever.. THIS IS NECESSARY!!

TM eats A LOT sometimes!! Early in the morning, when my parents went out for work, while my brothers went to school.. i cooked one MAGGI MEE for him.. but he said that wasn't ENOUGH for him!! he wanted me to cook TWO packs for him.. My Goodness!!! but i added TWO eggs for him already.. After that, he even ate half a cup of instant MUSHROOM SOUP.. and a piece of CAKE!!

But throughout all these days.. i realised that he has a lot of FLAWS too.. Sometimes, he's UNHYGIENIC.. he pee until the surrounding of my toilet bowl.. I knew i'm not supposed to reveal all these.. it's his privacy though..

He likes to check on my stuffs in my room.. Like he ransacked my room!! He read the LOVE LETTER that was given by REMO.. He read my calendar ( my so-called diary ).. And he NEARLY found out that i was with HOWE2 !!! It was such a close shave..

He gave me a huge pack of CHOCOLATE and a piggy bear.. i LOVE soft toys..

Oh my God, it's raining now.. think i gotta sign out now.. before the thunder stricks!!

MSN

2008-12-04T21:40:00.000-08:00

5 december 2008

Recently, i signed in to my msn.. i was shocked!!

THERE'S 267 UNREAD MAILS!!!

WOW!!!! but i deleted most of them.. cuz mostly the mails were from

Music123.com
Fanbox.com
and... WHATSOEVER!!!

i HATED it when the mails that i received were all forwarded messages..

and usually at the end of the mail.. people will wrote there:

"if you don't forward this message, you encountered with something bad in your life.."

RUBBISH!!!!

TWILIGHT

2008-12-02T20:50:00.000-08:00

1 DECEMEBER 2008

That morning when i woke up.. it was a SUNNY day..

I guess i was overjoyed because of the outing with my friends and my... hehehe.. bf!!!

The night before the outing, i've already choose what clothes that i'm gonna wear..

That was my most awaiting moment ever... BECAUSE.. that was the first time i went to watch a movie with my bf.. Even my ex bf had not bring me to watch a movie.. all he did was pulled me to the staircase... Erm.. you know... No need to tell.. i didn't wanna bring up the past memories..

When i reached IOI Mall, i thought Lyana was already there, but i couldn't see her.. so i walked around and search for her.. she was at Jusco.. she brought one of her guy friends named Asyraf.. I saw David too!! Actually we were celebrating a farewell party for him.. he was going back to Sarawak.. Asyraf wanted Nana to untied her hair.. so we went to toilet again.. Whereas David and TM went to the game station.. i told him not to go but he insisted. I hated the smell of cigatette smoke inside..

After that, we went to the cinema. i went to the toilet once again, to check my hair (cuz he kept rubbed my hair and made it very very messy!!!).. ahahaha!! so we bought drinks for each one of us.. but i shared with TM.. oh ya!! we bought an EXTRA ticket for my little cousin..

so we sat together.. there was a chinese couple sat behind us too.. TM and i was kinda intimate at times.. so the pair of couple who sat behind us couldn't stand that.. they changed their seat to another place.. HAHAHAHAHA!!!! so what???!!!

we were touching each other.. i was touching his tummy (with lots of hair over there!!) i LOVE it so much!!! ahahahahahah!!! And i was kinda cold, cuz i was wearing a mini skirt.. so TM put his hand on my lab.. to keep me warm.. we kissed at times..

Erm.. i guess i should skip the movie part..

As time goes by.. it was going to be 9p.m. which means it's time for me to go back.. BUT I'VE NOT EAT MY DINNER!!!! we were planning to eat together, but i didn't know that the movie took for about two hours.. so i had to say BYE BYE to them.. so i left the cinema earlier before the movie ends.. i went to the main entrance in front of the Starbucks Cafe.. Ateli3r gave me hug, and a gave a hug for Nanalicious..

THE END...

i'm taking my CAR licence!!!!!

2008-12-02T20:17:00.000-08:00

HAHAHAHAHA......

30th November 2008

That morning, i woke up at around 6.45p.m.

I clean myself up and get ready to go to Bangi!!!

When i reached the Bandar Kinrara Car Learning Academy.. i ONLY saw Malay guys!!!! WTF!! i was the only Chinese girl.. Then, there was a Malay man came towards me, he called my name!! Goodness!! he knew my NAME!!!

"Chin??" asked the Malay man.

Of course!! he got the name list!! LAME...

So we head on to Bangi.. sitting with my ONLY chinese girl friend.. Her name is Michelle.. She's same age as me.. BUT, she's studying in college now!! TAYLOR'S COLLEGE!!!!

So when we reached Bangi.. i saw a lot of cars.. a lot of people.. Then i went to the information counter, i registered my name.. the officer took my Identity Card.. so i was the FIRST one who enter the classroom.. so i sat in front..

Then, there was a Malay girl came to me, and introduced herself.. Her name is Zasha.. Same age.. Just finished SPM. However.. i non-stop pressing my phone.. i called Lyana, told her that i went to the kuliah already.. she was kinda shocked cause i indirectly woke her up early in the morning (it was only 8a.m. something).. hehehe...

The speaker was late that day.. he noticed that I WAS THE ONLY CHINESE GIRL there!!!!!!!! it was kinda embarrassing.. however, i don't really care.. as long as i am able to mix around with different races or religion peple.. i'm NOT the type of ANTI-SOCIAL people..

The class was kinda boring.. The Malay guy who sat beside me had already fell asleep.. Zasha and i were REALLY TRYING so hard to combat the sleepiness in ourselves!! YES, WE DID!!!

So we had break-time for about half an hour.. i didn't have the appetite to eat.. so i stayed at the hall.. i called TM, but he didn't like that i waste my credit to call him.. but i told him that i missed him so much.. why can't he just be more understanding??? so we had a small argument.. but we were alright after that..

By now.. i just NEED to read the TWO books as fast as possible.. Cause Nana is waiting for me.. heheheh!!

However, they still remain unchanged using the manual one.. i thought i could use the AUTO one.. Haiz..

I just need RM998 for the entire process.. it's CHEAP enough, right?? i mean, compared to last time.. hehehe!

I LOST MY HANDPHONE!!!!!

2008-11-13T02:24:00.000-08:00

F! F! F! F! F!

i can't believe that i just had this terrible MISFORTUNE!!!!!!

but why ME again???!!!!! Few months ago, i lost my WALLET!!! and had RM20++ in it!!!!

and NOW!!!! who would want to steal my hp??!! my very lousy hp..

i SWEAR i'll NEVER EVER put my bag downstairs!!!! i'm in a VERY VERY VERY bad mood now..

I kept on telling myself, maybe i left it in my room.. but when i checked my drawer and all the other possible places that i've kept it.. But i found NOTHING!!!!! where is it??!!!

i got no other choice but to call Nana.. I thought maybe she's still at school, so that she find it for me.. but she told me that she was at her younger sister's school already.. T_T

so i called Ateli3r, i asked her whether she would do me a favour.. sms TM to inform him about it and to call my house phone..

After i few minutes.. he called. I told him what happened. He decided to buy me a new one, but i declined. I explained to him, since my SPM is going to over (two more weeks), i'll go seek for a part-time job after that.. so maybe after i get my salary, i can buy my own new hp, right? i didn't want to waste his money.. i told him to be patient.. JUST FOR TWO MORE WEEKS!!! but he sounded unhappy with my decision..

HE HUNG UP THE CALL!!!!

shit.. i MISS him.. YES, I DO!!! but which is more important? SPM or HIM??

SPM of course!!!

and i LOST all my contact numbers!!! Irvin? Max? Dinesh? there's so much more!!

I'M BACK!! I'M BACK!!

2008-11-13T02:01:00.000-08:00

13th November 2008..

i had my Mathematics SPM paper today.. For the objective paper, which is Paper 1, i didn't do well.. I can't focus cuz i was having a minor headache.. i made quite a lot of silly mistakes.. The graph, the tranformation, probability, circles and SO ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This morning, i went out with TM, Oh Ya!!! i have not introduce HIM to you guys, right? Hehe!! He's my BF now.. can't believe i just dumped Howe2!! Anyway, TM means TELUR MASIN!!!!

haha.. you know what.. i always confused with the pronunciation of "MASIN" and "MANIS" !!! hahahahaha...

we went to al-Nainas for breakfast.. but i brought my milo and Gardenia bread.. I saw few of my brother's classmates.. but we sat at the corner, so probably they cant see us.. hehe! he ordered a soft drink, and that's it..

At around 7.50a.m. i rushed back to the school.. Chern Yang saw him.. i guess REMO saw me..

So.. WHO CARES!!! haha..

~酒~

2008-09-27T23:59:00.001-07:00

酒..是快乐的泉源, 或是痛苦的根源? 酒带给人的是快乐还是痛苦?

人为什么会喝酒? 喜欢麻痹的感觉, 还是喜欢幻想的感觉? 难道喜欢它苦涩的味道?

酒好难喝..一点也不好喝…为什么人还是选择喝酒?

夜夜狂欢,让酒精麻醉自己, 把自己陷入底潮, 伤心的大声哭泣, 是种发泄空虚的方法吗?酒后清醒, 你会发现酒精根本於是无补 . 酒入愁肠愁更愁.这句明句, 很经典.简单地带出酒后的心情.喝酒是你可能因酒精发作, 觉得兴奋, 突然脑筋一转, 想起了一些不愉快的事, 心情直落谷底.

分手后去喝酒是最笨的事. 伤心的灵魂, 早就不见了二魂七魄, 酒精入肚, 不堪设想. 你可能会打电话给你的前男友或前女友, 乱七八糟的说一些不该说的话, 让彼此的关系更加恶化, 不能挽回.

更糟糕的恐怕是酒后乱性, 因为空虚寂寞, 一时意乱情迷, 糊乱与人发生关系. 可能为了生理需求, 可能为了寻找人与人之间的温度, 也可能为了证明自己还是有魅力的, 可能..种种的可能都会发生在不清醒的人身上..一觉醒来, 发现身边的人不是自己所爱的, 后悔也来不及了..这份后悔会伴你一生..

既然如此, 为什么有人还是爱它呢??

~爱情~

2008-09-27T23:55:00.000-07:00

午后，慵懒的阳光洒落地面，纵长路上，男孩骑车载女孩问….. 你会爱我多久？

女孩紧抱着男孩，侧着头在他耳边这样甜甜的问，她知道，这个问题没有100分的答案。带着娇嗔的轻笑，她说：「给你一个说甜言蜜语的机会。

男孩却认真的思考了起来。趁着红灯停止的机会，他举起手比了个“一”要女孩猜他的答案是什麽。

女孩想了一想，快乐的说：「一辈子！」

男孩笑了，并不是因为她答对，而是感染了她的喜悦绿灯了，男孩不仅趋车面对现实，也收敛起笑容，轻轻的告诉女孩：「我不会给这种答案的，这样的答案好到不真实了，在说谎..再猜猜..

女孩对男孩的说法很满意，於是歪者头继续想.. 一天？

呵呵，我们已经相恋两个月了，一天、一星期、一个月这些都不成立喔！

又是红灯，男孩握住女孩的手，微笑的看着她, 女孩窃笑，大声的说「不会是一瞬间吧？」这个答案男孩差点笑倒在马路上 [当然不是啦！]

他一直深爱着女孩的幽默，深爱着女孩爽朗的笑容，这个答案让他更紧握住女孩的手….

「一年吗？」曾经有过一年时间等待的承诺，使得女孩对一年这个答案特别敏感。

男孩摇摇头，他们之间已经不需要等待，只剩时间的考验……. 「一百年好了，爱我一百年就够了。」

女孩说着，并表现着幸福的模样。

男孩说「一百年太短了吧，不够我爱你啊！」

甜言蜜语是男孩的专长，爱听甜言蜜语却是女孩的弱 …. 女孩笑了，轻铃的笑声让男孩闯了红灯…

"想要听答案了吗?"

男孩想说了，而女孩想听「我会爱你多久呢？」

男孩手比着一说：

"一…一直到你不再爱我我的那一天…"

YOU!!! READ THIS!!!!

2008-09-27T23:25:00.000-07:00

FUH!!!

THIS TIME I'M GONNA WRITE MY BLOG IN BOLD ALPHABETS!!

YES!! I CUT MY HAIR!!

I'M PROUD TO SAY THIS!!! THOUGH I KNOW THIS IS NOT A BIG THING TO ANNOUNCE!!

I'M CUTTING DOWN ALL MY MEMORIES WITH HIM!!!!

THEY ARE NO LONGER EXIST IN MY MIND!!!

NOT EVEN IN MY FUCKING BRAIN ANYMORE!!!

I'M HAPPY WITH MY NEW LOOK NOW!!

I'M GONNA LIVE MY FUTURE DAYS WITH MY NEW IMAGE!!

I'M BRAND NEW!!!!

DEREK ASKED WHETHER HE WOULD HAVE THE CHANCE AGAIN..

HELL "NO" !!!!!

EASON IS ALSO ANOTHER SEX-MINDED GUY.. THAT I DON'T EVEN WANNA BOTHER HIM.. I'M JUST FOOLING AROUND WITH HIM... HEH!!! IDIOT!!

I AM NOT LIKE LAST TIME ANYMORE!!!!

"IF YOU WANNA PLAY, I PLAY TOO!!" AND THAT'S MY PRINCIPLE!!!

It's OVER..

2008-09-26T00:25:00.000-07:00

This is the second blog that i posted today..

I'm just recounting the things that happened few days ago..

it was 21st September (Saturday), my bf called early in the morning.. i was still sleeping..
But still, i answered his call.. He didn't even wish me Good Morning..

Suddenly he popped out a question to me!!

"Hve you been telling others about our stuffs??" Jacky asked.

At first, i didn't get what he was trying to say.. Coz i'm a bit blurr.. just got up from my bed..

Recently, i met a guy named Eason. I got no idea on hw he got my number.. everytime i asked him bout that, he didn't wanna tell!! So i didn't really bothered.. maybe some of my guy friends gave the number to him.. Honestly.. Eason and i were just friends!!

I thought he was just some random guy who likes to flirts with girls.. He proposed to me. But the weird thing was.. he knew how i looked like!! How come?? i didn't even show him my picture!!

But i didn't tell anyone bout Eason, except my frineds!! But hw does my bf, Jacky, know that i've been smsing other guys?? When i asked Jacky bout tha, he didn't wanna tell!! All he said was just.. "Do not contact that guy anymore, do you hear me?!"

but i said.. "it's not wrong to make new friends?!"

Soon.. i hung up the call..

And then he didn't talk to me already..
I thought he was just being jealous or whatsoever!!
So i didn't really care bout him although he didn't wanna talk to me.. I knew that he's angry.. but i thought that he'll be ok soon..

On Sunday.. he didn't sms me or call me.. i started to worry.. i tried to sms him and all him.. but he reply NONE of my msg!! He REFUSED to pick up my call!!

I sms Eason on that day.. Eason finally told me the truth.. Jacky was actually his cousin!! They stay together!!! WTH!! And Eason said, my bf, Jacky was the one who gave my number to him!! Oh my Goodness!! Why would Jacky wanna give my number to another guy??!! i'm his gf!! Is he pushing me away to another guy??!! He wanna DUMP me??!!

What is going on??!!

On Monday night.. i cried.. i'm just being too EMOTIONAL!! I'm a CRY-BABY, and that is the FACT!!! I cried the whole night.. i have not cried like this before in my life.. I was going to have my Physics exam the next day, but i didn't study..

He kept me FALLING APART!!! I guess i've failed my Physics paper..

My friend wanted to SLAP me!! She said i'm too soft-hearted.. it's true but that is not the reason i cried for HIM!! Last time, i wasn't serious bout him.. There's once, he said he was going to COMMIT SUICIDE when i said broke up with him.. i didn't believe that..

I guess he's taking REVENGE on me.. I have fell in LOVE for him...

It's true that people will only know how to APPRECIATE sb/sth when we lose them..

I MISS HIM AND THAT IS TRUE!!

Today is the SIXTH day i broke up with him..

Still i didn't get any news from him...

I ponder.. maybe he has another gf.. so that was an excuse to get rid of me.. (??)

I admit that i treat him like a dog when we were still together..
But i swear i'm not gonna do that again!! I'm seriously SERIOUS here!!
I just wish he would come back.. or at least just send me a single message..
I wouldn't ask for MORE..
ALL i need is him..
I've fell for him deeper and deeper dy-by-day, until i can't pull myself back again!!

HELP ME!!

UNTITLED

2008-09-25T23:58:00.000-07:00

it's been a long time i've not go online..

i miss my blog..

my blog seems like everything to me now..

why can't blog be human being..??

i wanna hug my blog..

i'm so down..

knowing that everybody is leaving me one-by-one..

Firstly.. is PB..

Secondly.. is Derek..

Thirdly.. Some random guy that we've not met before.. (??)

There's whole lot more..

Those guys that i flirt with... they are UNCOUNTABLE..

Max..

Irvin..

Eason..

Today is 26 September..

I called PB..

Very obvious that we are so awkward to talk to each other..

He was going for a trip to KL.. with.. his gf..

I didn't know about it at first..

But when i heardd a sound of a girl talking to him..

I started to suspect..
I asked him.. "is she your friend?"

He was like.. "erm.. ya.."

What does that mean??

He sounded so weird..

I was thinking that maybe he's lying..

So i asked him again..

FINALLY.. he admitted..

But why??

it's just a small matter..

Why can't he just tell me the truth..

Am i his REAL friend or.. maybe i'm just some RANDOM web friend for him..?? i mean.. not that i wanna bother his love life.. i'm happy that he found his true love.. and i'm so envious..

i admit that i was EXTREMELY shocked at that moment.. it wasn't what i expected..

maybe i'm just too obsessed to.. HIM?? i don't know.. AND I DON'T WANNA KNOW!!!!

All the guys that i've met.. they seems like treating me the same way like i treat those other guys last time..

I really don't know what to say anymore..

ONCE UPON A DREAM..

2008-09-17T01:17:00.000-07:00

Once upon a dream..
I was lost in LOVE embrace..
There i found a perfect place.

Once there was a time,
Like no other time before,
Hope was still an open door..

I was unafriad,
The dream was so exciting..
But now i see it fade
And i am here alone..

Once upon a dream,
You were heaven-sent to me..
But it wasn't meant to be..
Now you're just a dream..
Could we begin again?
It was only ONCE UPON A DREAM...

THE LOOK OF LOVE..

2008-09-17T01:13:00.001-07:00

Have you ever seen the look of LOVE?
The look of LOVE is in your eyes..
A look of your smile can't disguise
The look of LOVE is saying so much more than just words could ever say
And what my heart heard
Well, it takes my breath away..

You've got the look of LOVE
It's on your face
A look that time can't erase..
Don't ever go..
Because.. I **** you so..

Try to Remember..

2008-09-17T00:58:00.000-07:00

Try to remember when life was slow
And so mellow...
Try to remember when I'm young
And a callow fellow..
Try to remember and if you remember
Then follow..

Try to remember deep in December
It's so nice to remember
Although you know the snow won't follow here
Without hurt, the HEART will hollow
Deep in December
Our hearts should remember..

I've look at LOVE both sides now
From give and take
And still somehow
It's love ILLUSIONS i recall
I really don't know LOVE at all..

Tears and feras and feeling proud
To say "I Love You" right out loud

Everything that we dream for will not always be beautiful.
Loneliness will teach us the meaning of independent.
Tears you shed shows the meaning of love and care,
But what will remain forever in our lives is those beautiful MEMORIES..

CINTA

2008-09-17T00:49:00.000-07:00

Jika ditanya tentang CINTA,
Macam-macamlah jawapannya,
Ada CINTA yang bawa ceria,
Ada CINTA yang sanggup merana.

Sanggup berkorban apa saja,
Hilang kawan hilang keluarga,
Lebih baik CINTA pada Yang Esa.

Hidup ini penuh pancaroba,
Kiri kanan masalah saja,
Janganlah derita kerana CINTA,
Kerana CINTA bahagia.

Kalau benar CINTA itu buta,
Siapakah jadi mangsanya?
Kalau CINTA itu CINTA setia,
Nangis ketawa sama Hahaha..

Kalau kita boleh beli CINTA,
Berapa pula harganya?
Alangkah indah kita dicinta,
Kerana hidup kita lebih bahagia..

My Guardian Angel..

2008-09-15T22:41:00.000-07:00

Ryozo Daigo..

Who is he..?? He has been existing in my life long time ago.. Always on my mind..

We have not even known each other all that long..
But in the short time that i've known him, he's always the person that i can turn to when i need help..

He showed me that suicide wasn't the answer after the confiscation of my handphone..

He never take a step ahead of me or fall behind me..

We're side-by-side..

He always go to the ends of the Earth and back for me.

He gives me peace of mind..

He makes almost everything bad seem so unimportant, like i'm in heaven..

With him in my life.. I'm sure that everything's gonna be alright..

He makes every day seem worth living..

He wrote about me in his "personal record" tha i've visited recently..

As Ateli3r says, I'm such an evil WHORE..

Somehow.. it sounds kinda true!!

I'm shutting myself out from reality..

Knowing that i'm gonna meet the teacher for counselling..

Our friendship is falling apart at the seams..

Reading back all the messages that he sent to me last time..

Those romance..

Those passion..

And the LOVE had between us before..

They had all faded..

"It's just a joke.."

Guess i'm naive enough to believe those previous message were true.. And that's the proof..

I closed my eyes tightly in the vain attempt to hold back my tears..

The Story Of Titanic in Reality

2008-09-14T21:37:00.000-07:00

The LOVE story of Jack and Rose..

Jack used to like the way Rose laugh..
Jack used to make Rose feel safe and loved..

Jack used to love her voice..

Jack used to LOVE her so much..

Jack used to dream of Rose..

Jack used to protect Rose and treat her like a kid..

Jack used to believe in FAIRY TALES..

However, it's not a fairy tale between them anymore..

Fairy tale doesn't comes true..

Rose used to laugh in every jokes that Jack made..

Rose used to make Jack understand the TRUE meaning of LOVE..

But..

Rose ruined it..

Rose used to make Jack smile..

Used to make him feel brand new everyday..

BUT..

Rose is not PERFECT as you've imagine, Jack..

She is not the BEST for Jack anymore..

Rose is no longer DEAREST to Jack..

Rose is not Jack's cup of tea..

Jack doesn't like milo and coffee that Rose made for him..

Rose is not precious to Jack anymore..

Rose doesn't LOVE herself..

I wonder whether Jack still keep the crystal ball Rose bought for him..

Jack..

Natural Phenotype of Girls

2008-09-06T00:59:00.000-07:00

其实很多男孩子都不知道，女孩子在冲他们发火后自己转过身却在不断啜泣。

其实很多男孩子都不知道，女孩子从来不会真正去生他们的气，因为她是真的喜欢他在乎他。

其实很多男孩子都不知道，女孩子只会对自己喜欢的男生唠唠叨叨，也只会对自己喜欢的人耍性子。　

你要知道，假若她不喜欢你，她根本不会来在乎你关心你，怕你做错事情。

你要知道，假若她不喜欢你，她根本不会对你发火不会冲你撒娇让你哄她，在别人面前她都是淑女。

你要知道，假若她不喜欢你，你根本就没有本事让她哭泣，让她即使生气也不会超过2天。

而这一切都只是因为她喜欢你，而这一切都因为你还不够在意她, 不够懂她。

于是，你们时常争吵，你认为她脾气不好，她认为你不够迁就她。　

于是，你们总是冷战，你以为她不喜欢你，她以为你不在乎她。

于是，你们总是莫名其妙的彼此错过，也许擦身而过，本身就是一种悲伤着的无奈与幸福。

要知道，凄美依然是美的一种，并且美的绚丽悲凉而沧桑，那是更加的美。

因为她喜欢你，所以她偶尔冲你发火，时常对你撒娇。

因为她喜欢你，所以她才会生你的气；而又因为喜欢你，她才不会去生气很久。

你可知道，每个女孩子的心都是水晶做的，晶莹剔透，但是很容易就碰伤摔碎。

你可知道，每个女孩子都是不设防的，你那么轻易就闯进她的心，走的时候却只留下伤害。

她从来都不知道，这个世界上根本没有可以让她哭的人，因为真正值得她哭的那个根本舍不得让她哭。

她会很矜持，她会很骄傲，她会很冷淡，她总是嘴里说着你走开，心里却一直叫你留下。

请你张开你的耳朵，也请你打开你的心，去听她心里真正的呼唤，而不是她嘴里的口是心非。

她会看着你转身，然后她跟着你转身，当侧身而过的时候，你看不见她的泪，滂沱在脸上心里。

如果你喜欢她，请你多陪她...

如果你喜欢她，请你多宠她...

如果你喜欢她，请你多让她...

如果你喜欢她，请你去听听她内心的声音，那是呐喊——请拥抱她。　

在爱情里，总是彼此伤害，彷佛这样才能证明自己爱得激烈爱到轰轰烈烈。

可是，爱情里没有孰对孰错...

爱情里更加没有你比我多我比你少。

你爱她，她爱你，如此就已经足够。

不要试图让彼此的伤害，让彼此更加脆弱悲伤。　

你们彼此相爱，你们需要的是温暖是幸福是甜蜜是快乐，不是伤害。　

不要用沉默宣战，不要互不相让，更不要什么话都不讲就冷漠离去。　

要知道，你离去的时候，你的眼睛起了雾，她的眼角泛着泪光。　

越是安静战火就越传，这是冷战也是彼此的伤害——无论是怎么的复合，那些伤口曾经存在，抹不去。　

请跟她一个拥抱，用你的拥抱去化解她心里的悲伤与眼角的泪水。　

她喜欢你，她绝对不会拒绝你的拥抱，她只会害怕你的冷漠转身无声安静。　

请记住，相爱的人不要轻易宣战，因为冷战带来的伤害，超出你的预计。　

也请记住，只要你喜欢她，没有什么是你接受不了的，只要你喜欢她，就喜欢她的一切一切。

那么她所有的小性子所有的坏脾气所有的臭毛病，在你眼里都是撒娇。　

也请记住，她喜欢你，她需要的不是你真的转身，她嘴里说着的也不是她的真心话。　

她只是想你宠她……

Another JUNK!!

2008-09-04T23:34:00.000-07:00

FIRST OF ALL!! i gotta remind those who are reading my blog now..

THAT GUY (LEFT) IS WANTED!!!!

Whoever knows HIM.. just STAY AWAY from him.. Never ever get near him.. Coz he's hunting for his prey... I hope you won't be the UNLUCKY one.. I'm the SECOND victim now..

Currently, i'm still TRAPPED in this LOVELESS relationship..

What the F***!! is that his ex gf??? BOO...

i'M GONNA THROW 100000000 ROTTEN EGGS RIGHT ON YOUR FACE!! BITCH!!!

You're NOT my cup of tea!!!

JUNK !!

2008-09-04T23:09:00.000-07:00

I would like to introduce..

This is Guo Xin Wei, 18. Frm Banting.. At first when i saw his picture, i THOUGHT he is HANDSOME, man! I like that shirt on him. hehe! But..

BUUUUUTTT!!! When he sent more and more of his pictures.. (look at the two pictures below) I'm getting.. getting annoyed!!

Don't try to act CUTE!! oh PLEASE...

GOD!! i'm gonna VOMIT!!!

ok.. honestly, i HATE mickey mouse!! i HATE those in Disney Land!! My parents are planning to go for a vacation to Hong Kong. And they told me that we are going to Disney Land D:

WHAT?!!! No Way!!! I just wanna go SHOPPING!!

To be continued..

I'm gonna name myself..

2008-09-02T00:07:00.000-07:00

I'm in LOVE!!!!

In love with AVRIL LAVIGNE!!!

YES!!!!

I'm gonna name myself...

...............

AVORINE!!!!! (isn't it sounds like avril lavigne??)

ok.. i know it's... LAME!!!

But i'm serious here!!!

So what do you think??

I just wanna have a unique name for myself.. (even though i know it's NOT unique..)

For example, my mum! she named herself JENSO. Hey.. NICE!!! That's why she's so popular among her colleague..

What's the definition of FOREVER..?

2008-08-29T01:43:00.000-07:00

Do you believe in FOREVER??

"Will you love me forever?" i asked Jacky.

"Yes!" said Jacky.

"How sure are you?" i questioned him again.

"90%...." said Jacky, in order to give me assurance.

My request was granted.

Do not simply make a commitment to your loved ones.

PLEASE....

She is not for you to hurt.. She's for you to LOVE..

I'm in need of LOVE..

Song Title：Innocence
Singer ：Avril Lavigne

Waking up I see that everything is ok
The first time in my life
and now it's so great
Slowing down I look around
and I am so amazed
I think about the little things
that make life great
I wouldn't change a thing about it
This is the best feeling

[chorus]
This innocence is brilliant
I hope that it will stay
This moment is perfect
please don't go away
I need you now
And I'll hold on to it
don't you let it pass you by
I found a place so safe
not a single tear
The first time in my life
and now it's so clear
Feel calm I belong
I'm so happy here
It's so strong
and now I let myself be sincere
I wouldn't change a thing about it
This is the best feeling

It's the state of bliss you think
you're dreaming
It's the happiness inside
that you're feeling
It's so beautiful
it makes you wanna cry

DATING.. NOT MATING

2008-08-29T00:15:00.000-07:00

29 August 2008

Today is Friday.. Next week is going to be the SPM trial examination..

But i still don't feel the tension YET!! Don't know what's wrong with me lately..

It's raining heavily since recently.. The weather is kinda windy..

During the last lesson - EST (English in Science and Technology).. We were talking bout REPRODUCTION!! haha!! I like this topic.. But it's bout COWS and CATTLE.. Don't know why.. our teacher ~ Puan Dewi just talked bout couples..

She actually understands what teenagers do and think.. She said it's normal to like a person at this age.. But if you are SEXUALLY attracted to that particular person, then it's WRONG!!!

I agreed with her.. And i knew i was WRONG!! When a pair of couple starts to touch each other, sooner or later, it will develop into SEX!!! And if we have experienced "it", we can't pull yourselves out anymore!!!

She said normally couples will start touching each other at the early stage.. YES, IT'S VERY VERY TRUE!! For me, i want to hug my bf FIRST before we hold hands.. I don't know why.. i just LOVE to hug people.. It makes me feel warm and secure.. It seems like a "PHYSICAL" PROTECTION for me in order to feel safe..

pet my hair gently

pull out the chair for me and let me sit

open the door for me and let me in

carry the unbrella for me when it is raining
putting hands on my shoulder

NO ONE HAS DONE ALL THESE FOR ME!!!! WHY......???

National day is approaching.. A total of 3 guys are asking Nanalicious out for counting down event.. but ME??

I'm just a MOULDERING human being that had fallen from grace..

MORE THAN WORDS!!!

2008-08-29T00:02:00.000-07:00

F***.....!!!

I heard "double UU" is going to sing Frankie J's song!!!

Oh GOD!!!!

PLEASE dont make me melt..

If and only if he is Howe2.. I do wish it is HIM..

Song Title：More Than Words

Singer ：Frankie J

[Verse 1]

Saying I love you

Is not the words I want to hear from you

Its not that i want you not to say

But if you only knew

How easy it would be to show me how you feel

More than words

Is all you have to do to make it real

Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me, yeah

Cause I already know.

[Verse 2]

What would you do (what would you do)If my heart was torn in two?

More than words to show you feel

That your love for me is real

What would you say

If i took those words away
Then you couldn't make things new

Just by saying I Love You

(just saying I love you, saying I love you)

More than words

(just saying I love you, saying I love you)

[Verse 3]

Now that I've tried to (now that I've tried to)

Talk to you and make you understand

All you have to do is

Close your eyes and just reach out your hand

And touch me

Hold me close don't ever let me go

More than words

Is all i ever needed you to show

Then you wouldn't have to say

That you love me, yeah

Cause i already know

(just saying I love you, saying I love you)

More than words

AVRIL LAVIGNE'S CONCERT!!!!

2008-08-28T23:41:00.000-07:00

Argh..!!!!

I wanna go!! I wanna go!!!

Tonight is the concert!! Last night, i was listening the radio.. i forgot which station.. it was either Hitz fm or Fly fm.. Nanalicious told me that if i buy Avril Lavigne's caller ringtone from Hotlink.. I might get the chance to win a free ticket for Avril Lavigne's concert!!! It's just RM3.00..

BUT I GOT NO CREDIT!!! F***!!!

I really like Avril's dressing style.. She's not a PUNK! i don't understand why they want to ban her concert in Malaysia.. It's just so UNFAIR!! They should have ban Pussycat Dolls's concert instead!!! As Ateli3r said, that NICOLE is really like a porn star.. And she reminds me of the song called "SCREAM" feat TIMBALAND.

I got one of her previous album - UNDER MY SKIN!! her songs are gorgeous!!!

i am EXTREMELY eager to go to her concert!! She's like a PRINCESS to me..

i wonder when will be her next album release.. Haiz T_T

Linda and i were planning to enter the singing competition in school.. We were actually going to sing Nobody's Home from Avril Lavigne.. But i can't SING!!!! And the worst thing is..

I HATE MY VOICE!!!

Is anyone here likes Avril too??

BEAUTY!!

2008-08-21T01:45:00.000-07:00

The Astro Beauty Competiton 2008 is approaching..

I'm here to share my view on this topic..

There is only a word to describe the competition..

DEGRADING!!!

Basically.. competition is based on one's ability and his/her skills..

For instance.. Formula One. The outcome of the race is CLEAR and EXACT. No one can deny or object the end result. FAIR, right??

But in the case of beauty competition.. it's different!

CAN BEAUTY BE COMPETED??

ANYONE WHO SAY "YES" FOR THE ABOVE QUESTION, PLZ LEAVE A COMMENT TOGETHER WITH YOUR REASON!!

Beauty is only skin deep. Beauty is the quality of a person being pleasing to the senses or to the mind.. Neither me nor you has the rights to RATE or MEASURE one's beauty!

Beauty comes from the HEART.. not their physical appearance!!

Just like me.. i never consider myself as a BEAUTY..

Beauty is purely subjective! A guy may like woman with spectacles.. Another guy may like a plump young lady.. Some may like short girls.. Others may like tall and skinny girls.. YOU WON'T KNOW!!

Beauty contests are ridiculous!! How can a group of pompous judges watch the parade of HALF- NAKED ladies and pronounce one to be the most beautiful??!!

All these young ladies just have to flaunt their bodies in public!! And the audience of lusty in front of TV!! The worst thing is.. it's LIVE!!

All they have to do is just strike a SEXY pose standing with their high heels. And twist their hips HERE and THERE!! With their perpetual smiles pouting their lips and wiggling their bottoms in order to gain MARKS!!

VERY FUNNY!!!

And the winner (the so-called BEAUTY QUEEN!!) gets to wear the giant CROWN on their head.. She's just an exploited SEX-OBJECT!!

Isn't beauty an ENDURING thing for a woman?? But why do they have to exhibit it in front of DIRTY old men pretending to be appreciative??

We just need to be ourselves!!

JCKY!!! you're such a JERK!!!

2008-08-18T22:54:00.000-07:00

You're such a LIAR!!!

You lied to me!!!

And i HATE your ex-GIRLFRIEND!!!

You made me CRY!!

I don't mind spending my time with you if you would just treat me good enough..

I don't mind if you were to RUIN my life!!!

But i will NEVER let you broke my HEART!!

You can flirt with other girls through the NET..

GO AHEAD!!!

I don't know how much you really LOVE me..

I don't know about your past..

And i DON'T care!!!

but YOU still BELONG to ME!!!

REMO!!!!

2008-08-18T22:23:00.000-07:00

F! F! F! F! F! F! F!

Can someone tell me what is the meaning of "REMO" !!!

I had ENOUGH already!!!! ENOUGH!!! THAT'S IT!!!

"You" promised me that you will NEVER EVER bother me in my life!!! but NOW??!!

"You" embarrassed me in front of my friends!!

"You" made other people laughed at me!!!

"You" gave me stuffs!!

"You" gave me key chain!!

"You" reload for me!!

"You" gave me bookmark!!

"You" bought me a new wallet when i lost it..

AND "You" even gave me LOVE LETTERS!!!

BUT is that all i NEED??!!

From the beginning.. You told me that those Indian guys in your class were spreading rumors about me as a prostitute!! So, indirectly you made me gave my hp number to you.. ok! FINE!! maybe i am FOOL!!!

So, you start sms me. I THOUGHT you as my friend.. i THOUGHT you were trying to help me..

BUT!! i NEVER thought all the things that you've done to me is for another REASON!!!

I REPLIED your letter..

i TOLD you that i need to concentrate on my SPM examination.

i TOLD you that i can NEVER ever accept you as my bf!!

i TOLD you that it would be better if we REMAIN our friendship!!!

CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND SIMPLE ENGLISH??!!!

"You" told everyone that i'm your gf!!

"You" called me SWEETHEART in every single letter that you sent to me!!!

Bla.. Bla.. Bla..

"You" could EVEN blackmail other people just to be in my group for the trip!!

"You" can sell your watch just to buy something for ME!!!

"You" can write my name all over the places to tell everyone that you LIKE me!!

BUT you just can't win my HERAT!!!

Maybe i'll fall for a Indian guy one day..

Who knows??

BUT one thing for SURE!!!

NOT YOU!!!!

SHOPPING!!!

2008-08-18T01:02:00.000-07:00

i want shopping!!!!

i wanna buy clothes!! The SEXiest one!!!!

i wanna buy earrings!!

i wanna buy skirts!!! MINI skirts!!!!

i wanna buy accesories!!!

Haiz.. but nowadays.. our living costs are increasing..

i wanna buy nail colours.. Now i have the blue one.. yellow one.. green one.. black one.. and.. NO MORE!!!

i want the WHITE one and the PURPLE one!! i HATE the pink one!!!!

i want DYE my hair VIOLET!!! Can't wait to see my new image..

I still remember.. my mum threw away all my skirts and all my bare-back shirts!!! NO!!!! i miss them all.. hw dare she do that to me??!! it's all my PROPERTY!!!! all MINE!!!

but now.. it's all GONE!!! ALL gone!!!!

it's TRUE that i really love to wear those revealling clothes.. so what?!! thatz my dressing STYLE!!!

if she read my diary.. then i'm still able to can forgive her..

But i can't stand if people start RANSACKING my stuffs in my ROOM!!!

GET OUT OF MY WAY!!!! I BET THOSE PEOPLE DON'T WANNA TASTE MY KNUCKLE!!!!

HOLIDAY SUCKS!!!! though it's just the beginning of it..

2008-08-18T00:54:00.000-07:00

I really don't knw why.. today i jz have the inspiration to write something in my blog..

i read Mr. Anderson's comment in my friendster.. I knw he was right.. and he is always RIGHT..

I'm changing day by day.. Not to the good side.. But the BAD side..

Maybe our school holiday started already.. i'm bored..

SOMETIMES.. THE HARDEST THING TO DO IS "NOTHING"....

i don't mind taking craps over here.. but i just can't stop typing!!!!

THE NEW TUTION IN ERA..

2008-08-17T04:58:00.000-07:00

Frankly.. it was really a massive DISASTER!!!!

i thought i was late to tuition.. but i didn't know that there was people who was later than me.. INCLUDING the teacher!!

i rushed back home frm Kajang jz to bring my bag and pencil case. The moment when i reached the tuition centre.. i went to registered myself at the counter. I filled in my name and all those information on the registeration form.

Here comes the shocking scene i've ever seen in a tuition centre!!! i stepped into the class.. it was damn NOISY!!! that was the first difference that i found as compared to SUCCESS tuition centre! and it was the MAJOR difference!!!

Never mind.. it's kinda normal to me. It's just the same thing usually happened in school.. so i wasn't really CARE.. Ateli3r was not there yet. She sent me a msg but my hp wasn't with me that time.. it was at home. WH lend me his seat and he went out to take another chair for himself. And that Bryan teased me, he told me that i grew taller already!! F***!!!! of course la!! i was wearing a pair of high heel shoes!!! Yeah.. very FUNNY -.-"

I chat with Anandh and YF. I didn't know that i could reallt talk to YF like a friend.. i don't talk to him in school. We were like strangers.. Nicole was late.. T_T i really thought that i could sit with her.. but there was a guy at my left hand side.. i was kinda stucked at the middle.. and i didn't wanna move around so i terpaksa have to..

SORRY.. ATELI3R..

When the teacher came in.. he didn't noticed that ther's a new student.. ok FINE.. but i NOTICED another thing.. thse guys at the back had NEVER stop TALKING even the teacher was there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i was kinda.. kinda.. (don't know hw to expree my feelings bout it!!!).. they disrespect the teacher.. they ALWAYS tends to interrupt the teacher during the lesson!! and i HATE it so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How am i goin to concentrate when there is noise EVERYWHERE!!! YF and Bryan were also not focussing during the lesson.. they bully Danny by taking his shoe off and hide it..

And the teacher's voice was freaking LOUD!!!! but it's alright for me.. the louder he speaks, the more i could pay attention!! Coz those BASTARD at the back were really FREAKING ME OUT!!!!

WENT OUT OF TOPIC!!

2008-08-17T04:09:00.000-07:00

16 August 2008

The Damansara Utama Methodist Centre (DUMC) tuition had cancelled! That morning, i gave a phone call to Mr. Peter. Oh GOD!!! his voice sounds manly!! i LIKE it!!

WHAT AM I THINKING?!! HE'S MY TEACHER!!!!

Oh.. jz forget bout it!! ENOUGH means ENOUGH!!!

Later on.. my family and i went to Kajang for prayers. It's the 1st year anniversary of my grandfather's death.. He passed away peacefully.. He sat on the floor, he leaned on the wall behind his back.. My grandfather had diabetes since he was early 30 year old.. He had went through all these misfortune and sufferings for the rest of his life.. i've see him injecting himself with some kind of whitish concentrated liqiud on his thigh.. i didn't dare to ask him what was it..

Everytime he drink tea or coffee.. he added a few artificial sugar into it.. i still remember the brand of the artificial sugar.. it's EQUAL.. Yeah!! i've learned this product in Chemistry.

But until now.. i still feel the guiltiness deep inside my heart.. i couldn't forgive myself.. For chinese lunar calendar, my grandfather died on 16 July 2007. It was during the hungry ghost festival. I MISS HIM SO SO SO MUCH!! i could even cry when i start talk bout my grandfather!! however.. it seems like he just passed away not long ago..

On the day when my grandfather died, i was on the phone call with Howe2!! we talked quite long actually.. that was the time my mum called me to inform me bout my grandfather's death!!! but she didn't get to reach me as the phone was engaging!!! How STUBBORN i am to have miss my mum's phone call?!!!

I guess my mum got frustrated, so she and my dad rushed back home to tell me the news.. The moment i saw they opened the auto-gate outside.. i quickly hang up the phone call with Howe2!!! i went to open the door. i saw my mum was crying.. and my dad had a very numb look on his face..i can sense that there's is something wrong..

The first thing that my father tell me is.. "Grandfather has died.." and my mum was so angry and questioned me bout why i didn't pick up the phone!!! I lied to her that i was having a phone call with my friend.. The moment when my father told me bout the news.. i was SPEECHLESS!! my brain was totally blank!! i didn't know what response to give them..

i went into the car.. all of us was so quiet.. it took us bout 30 minutes to reach my grandfather's house.. and when i reached there.. i saw my aunties.. my uncles.. everyone was crying.. the atmosphere there was really lifeless.. i walked upstairs.. i reached the door of my grandfather's room.. he was there.. with no expression on his face anymore.. his body turned white.. my grandmothers' eyes were red and swollen..

i cried soundlessly.. i couldn't stop my tears from falling.. i couldn't stop starring at my grandfather.. i couldn't take it!! i couldn't accept the fact of his death!! as i was pondering why the incident happened so sudden, my father came near me and tried to ease me.. he told me to calm down..

On the same night.. i couldn't sleep AT ALL!! i lied down on my bed.. all the memories of my grandfather kept passing through my mind.. i played the song from Celine Dion. And i cried for the whole night..

On the funeral ceremony.. we walked along the road with our bare legs.. it was a tradition. Not that we are superstitious.. but we BELIEVE.. we ALL believe!! and i accidentlly stepped on a burning cigarette on the ground!! SHIT!!! don't know which bastard go and throw it on the floor!!! And things went successfully.. we thanked that it wasn't rain that day..

I LOVE YOU, GRANDPA!!

A fight with a teacher..

2008-08-13T01:35:00.000-07:00

usually in school.. ppl can hardly see me fighting with the teachers.. and i seldom do that too! Frankly, i'm afraid of teachers sometimes.. but certain teachers really make me wanna bit them up nicely!!!

it was jz Monday, 11 August 2008.

it was the last lesson for the day, English. I don't mind telling her name.. jz wanna let the whole world knw that she's such a"F" BITCH!! I don't knw hw she got a bf.. but Thank God, she's not married YET!!! then i can make ppl jeer at her!! AHAHAHAHA!!!!

CIK SUJATHA!! YOU'RE A BLOODY BIG "S" WOMAN IN THE WHOLE UNIVERSE!!!

She can shout at us in front of all the teachers in the stuff room.. she can scream at us like a mad fool!! she can do whatever she like!! BUT SHE CAN'T CONTROL US!!

it was jz a small matter and she made it as if we were breaking the school rules!! MOTHER FISH!! Two of my friends (jz to accompany me) and me went to hand in my club's file to the teacher in-charged. It's URGENT! since Cik Sujatha was still in the stuff room.. so we tried to make things fast. We were actually wanted to put the files on top of the teacher's table.. and she shouted at us!!

"WHY ARE THREE OF YOU OVER HERE?! I THOUGHT WE ARE SUPPOSED TO HAVE ENGLISH CLASS AFTERWARD.. GO BACK TO THE CLASS NOW!!"

i explained to her politely that i just wanna leave the files on top of the teacher's table, then we will go back to our class. but she didn't wanna listem!!!

"I DON'T CARE!! I SAID GO BACK TO THE CLASS NOW!!"

So three of us went back to the class and sat down. we were REALLY pissed off at that moment!! it wasn't our fault!! and the FIRE started burning on our head.. we decided to enter the stuff room AGAIN, and this time we won't care what she said, we'll just do whatever we wanna do!!

Once again.. she saw us. She was kinda angry already. Coz she gave us warning to stay in the class and wait for her to enter the class. But we ignored her. We didn't bothered what she said!! And she started to shout at us again..

"I SAID GO BACK TO THE CLASS NOW!!"

and she wanted to slap Ateli3r!! God!! we went back into the class, and i got pissed off too!! hw dare she talked to us like that!! Since she didn't even respect her students, so why do we have to respect her?!! she humiliated us in front of all the teachers in the stuff room..

BUT SHE HUMILIATED HERSELF TOO!!

it shows that she's not POWERFUL enough to control her students!!

SHE'S POWERLESS!!!!

She made the students hate her.. all of us is going to take revenge!! YES I WILL!!!

remembered she said my literature exercise book was RUBBISH!!!!

i'm gonna splash the red NIPPON paint all over her house!! i'm gonna screw up her wedding dress (if i could)!!! i'm gonna cut off her long hair!! DESTROY her car!! pour sodium hydroxide, NaOH all over her face (is it corrosive enough??) !!! or maybe i should use hydrochloric acid, HCL solution?? O_o WHATEVER!!!

i am HUNTING for you, Cik Sujatha.. where r u?

*i knw this is a bit evil.. but.. i dunno.. jz to release my anger..

PLKN !!!!!

2008-08-13T00:43:00.000-07:00

what the "f"!!

y am i so unlucky nowadays?!!!

i got picked for the National Service!! i've never thought of it before until i received that "f" msg!!

PLKNSEMAKIC NUMBER SEND TO 15888

"double UU" asked me whether i want him to check for me.. but i refused. Hey! i was really concentrating in the class.. what if i got picked?? my mood will really really change immediately!! No one was paying attention during the lesson.. they were really focusing on their cell phone and eagerly waiting for the arrival of the msg..

"tahniah! anda telah dipilih... Programme Latihan Khidmat Negara.. 6/2009.."

Not that i'm being such a coward.. i'm jz anxious.. one of the advantages is that i'm able to gain more experience through the programme.. i can make more friends there.. but i won't forget my frenz in school no matter how!!! I'm able to get out of my house and search for my FREEDOM!!

BUT.. it's about the hygiene there!! and the food they provided!! i'm really afraid of it.. i didn't wanna eat those dirty food there!! i want CLEAN and FRESH food!!! i really don't wanna stay in the hospital during the programme!! i REALLY don't want!! i SWEAR!!

y pick ME?!! y not the others?!! it's so UNFAIR!! My friends said that i'm like "WATER".. what does it mean actually?? my guts are telling that i've being too SOFT.. AM I?? T_T

i really can't stand this anymore.. i couldn't sleep last night.. i kept thinking about the programme.. WHERE WILL THEY SEND ME TO??

SABAH??

or

SARAWAK??

i heard Danisa said most of the Selangor citizen will be send to Kelantan!!! NO!!!!!

and it seems like a GOOD news for the guys.. yeah!! they get to hold a gun.. what so interesting?? Even i hold a GUN before!! i mean.. the FAKE one.. the gun TOY.. hehe! so lame..

and i heard there's a lot of gangster inside.. but i'm not really scared of these ppl.. if they wanna fight, FIGHT la!!!! i bet i'm gonna win..

*this topic is a lil bit sensitive.

You know why God created gap between fingers??

2008-08-06T00:50:00.000-07:00

So that at someday, sometime, somehow, the ONE who is made foryou, finally will come and fill all the gaps by holding your hands FOREVER..

Sweet Sweet Memories between ME & HIM..

2008-08-06T00:13:00.000-07:00

Mon, 4 August 2008

At night.. i took out my calendars in the year 2007 & 2008.. Not to check the date.. but to recount back all the events happened throughtout these years.. My calendar is half of my diary.. Last time, i did write my own diary in a note book. But my mum eventually read the contents WITHOUT my permission! It was very RUDE!!

i HATE it when people touch my stuffs in my room!! USELESS PEOPLE!!

Yeah.. i found out that my bf (HH) had been to my hs for 9 times!! WTF!! I didn't knw it was that much!! Plus the another two times that i ponteng school, TOTAL is 11 times!! WOW!!

The first time we met was in IOI Mall. I played truant jz to date with him.. I gave him a kiss on the cheek when we reached the car park.. We went inside but both of us didn't knw where to go.. so we jz walked around.. here and there.. i remembered he knocked my head when i did something stupid!! Haha!

We sat on a bench.. i leaned on his shoulder.. it was the first time i hold a guy's hand.. he hugged me tightly.. all the people passed by looked at us in a different angle.. WHO CARES!! we were in LOVE at that moment!! Then, we head on to the POPULAR book shop.. Suddenly, he brought me to the staircase beside the book shop!! i was really PANIC!! i had no idea what is he going to do!! SHIT!!! but i knw something wasn't right..

He brought me downstairs.. the place what so quiet.. no one was there.. my heartbeat was damn FAST!! In no time, he pushed me towards the wall.. He stared me with an EVIL kind of look!! I knw he's gonna do something to me!! YES!! he kissed me.. my lips.. our body was so close.. i've never had that kind of body contact with a guy!! we were so intimate.. we were drowning in the mood..

However, i didn't really like it! i expected my first kiss to be in a very slow, long and a deep kiss. But end up we kissed in a very wild way!! at first, i didn't knw hw to kiss, so i was so kayu at times.. but Thank God i got used to it.. I didn't wanna spoil the atmosphere..

Later on, i think he got HIGH!! SHIT!! he brought me to somewhere else.. GUESS WHERE!! in the BOMBA ROOM!!! it was only a little space in the room.. so we gotta squeeze inside.. he was such a NAUGHTY boy!! And..

TO BE CONTINUE..

Argh!! he TOUCHED my hand!!!

2008-08-05T23:44:00.000-07:00

OMG!! i can't believe what happened 2day!! he was the first person that i admired in this school since i entered secondary school. he is the most handsome guy in the school! i didn't wanna reveal the identity coz he might have a blog too!

But jz because we are in Form 5 nw, so all the prefects had to step down and retire.. hehe! During Chemistry lesson, we had to do an experiment on Chapter 5 , which is about the making of soap. I've jz learned this topic yesterday during tuition. Not a DIFFICULT topic, but it's not EASY too!

First of all, we measured the amount of NaOH needed by using the measuring cylinder. Next, we put a lil bit palm oil into the beaker. Mixed both the material by pouring the NaOH into the beaker. The smell of the palm oil was really SUCKS!! And then, we boiled it for 10 minutes. After that, we added in 3 spatulas of sodium chloride, NaCl, which is the common salt and also some distilled water. Let them boil for another 5 minutes. Keep stirring the mixture..

Then, we filtered the boiled solution by using a filter paper. The product that formed on the filter paper is the SOAP. However, when i feel it with my fingers, i didn't feel slippery at all!! I felt OILY! Eeeee.. DISGUSTING!!

At the end of the experiment, i used the basin that is located at "his" table. I washed the apparatus and cleaned them. Suddenly he came and wash his hands.. You knw what he did next?? Oh GOD!! he jz grabbed my hand! I was frightened so i took my hand away, unfortunately, i split the wayers on hand to SMing's book!

What the hell?! her reaction was too big!! What a BITCH!! It was jz a petty2 things that she made it as i destroyed her book!! I didn't apologise to her coz it's not my property!! i could have scratch all over her book and tear them into pieces!! SO WHAT?!

Back to the topic.. hehe! yeah.. i was a lil bit overwhelmed!! I shouldn'e have take away my hand and see what he'll do to my hand.. Hold it?? OH NO!! what am i thinking?!! STOP IT!! But it feels kinda good..

I wish i have a time machine and reverse the time when he touches my hand.. haha!

AFFAIR

2008-08-03T23:49:00.000-07:00

oh shit!!!

i coupled with the same guy again!! Let's jz name him as J. Goodness!! it doesn't feels so good..

it was jz last night.. i cried for him when i asked him bout his ex gf.. i'm such an idiot!! This is reli a LOVE TRIANGLE!!

Howe Howe

"DOUBLE UU" ??

Between 3 of them above.. Howe Howe is the most loyal guy i've ever met. But hw sure am i?? maybe one day he MIGHT betray me.. i don't know.. it's all in God'd hand. But nothing is impossible, right??

Now what?? Haiz.. i'm so not STABLE enough when it comes to relationship!! i mean RELATIONSHIPS!! he tried so hard to get me back.. but i'm TOO soft-hearted (my major weakness!).. i accepted him eventually.. i jz met him twice.. we kissed and we almost did something that we shouldn't do!! well, i'm good in controlling my desire!!

And he looks so mature, bt his actual age is jz 23!! i got cheated by his real age.. he lied to me!!

i couldn't help myself.. his ex gf is same age as mine!! F***!!! which means.. he coupled with that girl when she was jz 13!! oh DAMN!! i'm the SECOND!! Argh!! i would rather kill myself!! i can't believe that's the fact!!!

i wanna be his FIRST!!! i'm so obsessed to HIM!! however, he doesn't deserve my tears!! NOT AT ALL!! NEVER!! not even a single drop of it!!

hw can he treat me like this?? the radio was playing James Blunt and it makes me feel so down.. a lot of my frenz are telling me to dump him but.. am i able to d it?? that's another question!! i'm not sure bout my feelings..

he made me suffered.. he's mentally torturing me..

J flirts with lots of girls.. after our first broke-up, he added lots of girl in friendster.. i don't knw what's wrong with him, but it's difficult to guess what's on his mind.. his attitude seems like the climate.. sometimes HOT ; sometimes COOL ..

I still remembered the first time we met.. i smoked!! i took one of his cigarette and tried to suck a lil bit.. WOW!! i chocked!! i hated the smell of it.. but i was nearly addicted to it.. maybe coz of the nicotine -.-"

i LOVE his kisses!! i love it MORE than Howe Howe's kiss!! Howe Howe's kiss is erotic and wild (HOT!!!) ; but J's kiss is soft and slow.. MAKES ME HIGH!!! "High" in the sense of... sense of... hmm... SECRET!!! haha! can't tell.. PRIVATE!!

He wanted to take my nude picture (isolated part - vulva) !! but i refused!! NO!! he's such a pervert!! i'm afraid that my face might turn up in YouTube.. Goss!!

Though it HURTS!! he's not HUMOUR at all.. NO jokes.. being with him is not romantic at all.. i celebrated his birthday this year.. i didn't get to buy him a present.. he wanted to bring me to a HOTEL!! but.. i'm not sure whether he is able to celebrate my birthday with me this year.. we' see hw far we can go.. if our relationship last, then it's a good thing.. but if can't, then i'm speechless (NO COMMENT..)

i wonder how the ending will be.. will we be enemies?? no matter how.. i don't really care bout the ending, i only care bout the process.. i don't mind if i give my virginity to him, honetly.. the problem is, AM I STILL A VIRGIN???

in school, there's lots of rumors bout me behave in front of the guys.. some said i'm a prostitute!! some siad i always fool around with the guys!! i don't care hw ppl look at me.. you CAN humiliate me! you CAN embarrass me!! you CAN do whatever thing that you like to do!! it's NONE of my business!!

J.. the game is NOT over yet.. if you wanna play a fool in my feelings.. jz GO AHEAD!! this is where the game begins..

I'LL BE YOUR BEST PLAYER!!!

Things Not To Say During Sex !!

2008-08-01T20:08:00.000-07:00

Guys!! pay attention here!!

i have to poop.

smile for the camera! Cheese..

Get off me, i'll do it myself..

This is your first time, right?

You're almost as good as my ex!

When is this supposed to feel good?

i thought you had the key to the handcuffs?!

i was so horny tonight, i would have taken a sheep home.

keep it down, my mother is a light sleeper!

Hey! my friends were right! You ARE good in this!

I'm sobering up and you're getting ugly..

on second thought, let's turn the lights off.

But everybody looks funny naked..

do i have to pay for this?

No! you are too fat to be on top. You'd kill me!!

Actually.. your sister 'likes' it like this..

What's your name again?

Hold on, let me change the channel..

It's nice being in bed with someone i don't have to inflate..

uhh.. i think the condom broke 10 minutes ago..

HAHAHA!!!

My LOVE quote

2008-08-01T20:05:00.000-07:00

Good kissers are strong men who will have your back.

Bad kissers are weak men who will just like to grab your butt..

Watch out, LADIES!!

When you..

2008-08-01T19:56:00.000-07:00

When you try your best, but you don't succeed..

When you get what you want, but not what you need..

When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep..

When you lose something, but you can't replace it..

When you set your goal, but you can't achieve..

When you feel frustrated, but you can't release..

When you promised something, but you can't fulfil it..

When you break something, but you can't fix it..

When you want to fly, but you are without wings..

When you see a star, but you can't make a wish..

When you're in love with him, but you can't meet him..

When you scream out loud, butone cares about it..

Could it be worse??

copy rights are preserved..

MY INTRO..

2008-08-01T19:52:00.000-07:00

My world reposed in the dusk,
And my mind reposed in the past,
I went nearly mad with grief,
when the day you left me.

I sank under the heavy burden of hardship,
VIRTUE and VICE are before me,
There are too much!!!
Torturing me..

The one leads to misery;
The other leads to happiness..
Wishing i could do something blindfold

What's going on????

HELL IS A PLACE CALLED HOME..

A poem for YOU

2008-08-01T19:45:00.000-07:00

I love you
fo so many reasons
large or small,
and all of them are wonderful..

I love you for all te special qualities
that makes you"you",
one of a kind,
the only one in the world of me.

I love you
for the things you say that
bring such special meaning
to my life.

I love you
for the silent times when
your eyes and your arms
tell me all i want to know..

I love you
because you know how
to bring out the BEST inme..

I love you
just because i do..
Because now,
in a place where
there was nothing before,
in the deepest part of my HEART..

There is LOVE..

Your (my) LOVE is Base on Passion

2008-08-01T19:39:00.000-07:00

When you're in love, youe brimming with emotions and desire.

For you, love can be crazy frenzy - but somehow it al makes sense.

Love is the most important thing to you. You are capable of doing anything for LOVE.
( This makes you very lovable.. but also a little SCARY! )

Why your love can LAST:
You've got the tre attraction, bnd, and euphoria to make it happened.

Why your love can FAIL:
Love isn't something you really think through. Your roller coaster relationship sometimes end on a terrifying note.

my horoscope as a SCORPIO

2008-07-30T23:42:00.000-07:00

My LOVE profile:

i got all this informatis frm google..not that i'm trying to show off.. but it's kinda true though..

MY POSITIVE TRAITS:
You're red hot pass makes anyone you date feel xtremely wanted.. Loyalty, to the point of doing anything to protect your lover.. You are mysterious and charismatic - and you easily ppl in!

YOUR NEGATIVE TRAITS:
You tend to be paranoid and think that the worst is going on with your lover. You turn cold and mean at the first sign of conflct in relationship. You sometimes become obsessed with dates - so much so that you develop jealousy early on.

Your idea partner:
Someone who will take the time to win you over. Not an easy task! Is able to keep up with your carnal appetite.. lots of stamina needed. Reassures you of their love and loyalty on a daily basis.

Your dating style:
Intense.You prefer to stay in with take out and conversation so that no one else is distracting you and your date.

Your seduction style:
HOT!! New partner have trouble believing that yur libido is for real. You have incredible sexual intuition - you always know what your lover craves. A bit bossy. You know what you want, you certainly aren't afrid to ask for it!!

MY 1YEAR ANNIVERSARY WITH HIM

2008-07-30T04:52:00.000-07:00

25 July 2008

that day was supposed to be my happiest day in my life. but it turned out to be my happiest FRIENDSHIP DAY!! Magen bought chocolate for the celebration. Howe Howe didn't get to celebrate with me. SIGH!! he planned to come over to my hs, maybe stay over night. but he couldn't make it.. i shouldn't have told him bout the bus stop thingy..

Coz my new hs area doesn't have any bus stop.. so hw is he going to get back to his house (in Gombak) since there's no transport at all?? eventually we cancelled our plan, no choice!! i miss the feeling of sleeping next to him that night.. i forgot the date.. i gotta check the calendar.

I'm listening to frm The Cranberry..

i spent my so called "ANNIVERSARY" with my darling frenz.. they taught me hw to play football. it was the 1st time i try this kind of sport game in class. we used old newspapers n rolled it into a ball shape. we used stappler to make it firmer. BUT, it didn't knw that football is that fun n interesting!!! SERIOUS!!

Though i hurt my toe, until today, i couldn't walk properly without my shoes. PAIN!! HONESTLY, i had a GREAT time with all of them!!

WONDERFUL FRIENDS MAKE WONDEFUL LIFE!!

I LOVE ALL OF U!!!

MUAKX!!

Howe Howe?? he didn't even wish me "happy Anniversary"!!

Got chase out frm the class!!

2008-07-30T04:30:00.000-07:00

29 July 2008

haha!! can u believe that?? well, i think it's AWESOME!!! it was ridiculous!! Cik Sujatha.. haiz.. shame on YOU!!! you're still SINGLE..

we were having english lesson, it was the last period. Me, Lyana, and Nicole were planning to ponteng her class right after we finished Chemistry lesson. Hey!! it shows that hw much we respect her!! oh well, since she didn't even appreciate it. So, forget bout it la.. we don't even bothered!!!

GLOBAL WARMING (the title of our essay)?? i wish the entire Earth EXPLODE!!

Aiya!! we were supposed to leave the class through the front door!! we did a mistake!! taking the front door is jz to show off to her!!

"THREE OF YOU AT THE BACK!! GET OUT OF THE CLASS NOW!!!!" she shouted.

can u imagine that?? those ppl sitting in front immediately looked at the back. they didn't knw what was reli happenning.. But.. HW COME I DIDN'T EVEN FEEL PANIC AT THE MOMENT??

when i was in Form 3, i was nearly being HALAU out of the class by Pn. Wang. it was Shueh Teng's fault!! Not me!! she kept winked at me during th Maths lesson. I wasn't paying attention to the teacher, by the way. i was PANICing!!

Later on, three of us loaf around the school, and we stop by at the stationary shop. We terserempak Pn. Dewi!!! Holy Mother!! i thought she was goin to ask us y we were there. but.. luckily, she didn't do anything bout it. She smiled at us instead!! WEIRD!!!

No doubt, that incident was reli unforgetable!! and it made our friendship getting firmer and stronger.. that is y, all 3 of us have bonds between each other..

COVALENT BOND or IONIC BOND ?? u tell me -.-"

i'm sorry, Lao Gong..

2008-07-30T03:51:00.000-07:00

i knw i was wrong for doing this to you.. but i can't control myself.. God!! HELP ME!!

i fall for another guy.. he looks jz like u.. but hw could it be?? i mean, there mustn't be two identical guys exist in this world!! YOU or HIM ?? i dunno..

i hate to make decisions in my life.. i HATE myself!!!!!!!!! my heart is not stable nw.. i dunno what am i thinking.. i reli dunno watz on my mind!! i wish i had a memory loss!! i wanna forget him!! hw could GOD be such cruel to me?? Wat i've done??

knowing that he has his own buah hati already.. perhaps i should undur diri.. STOP hurting myelf!!

he has the same feature as u, my dear.. MAYBE he's your brother?? NOOOOO!!!! CANNOT BE!!!

You're NOT a CLONE!!