WENT OUT OF TOPIC!!

16 August 2008

The Damansara Utama Methodist Centre (DUMC) tuition had cancelled! That morning, i gave a phone call to Mr. Peter. Oh GOD!!! his voice sounds manly!! i LIKE it!!

WHAT AM I THINKING?!! HE'S MY TEACHER!!!!

Oh.. jz forget bout it!! ENOUGH means ENOUGH!!!

Later on.. my family and i went to Kajang for prayers. It's the 1st year anniversary of my grandfather's death.. He passed away peacefully.. He sat on the floor, he leaned on the wall behind his back.. My grandfather had diabetes since he was early 30 year old.. He had went through all these misfortune and sufferings for the rest of his life.. i've see him injecting himself with some kind of whitish concentrated liqiud on his thigh.. i didn't dare to ask him what was it..

Everytime he drink tea or coffee.. he added a few artificial sugar into it.. i still remember the brand of the artificial sugar.. it's EQUAL.. Yeah!! i've learned this product in Chemistry.

But until now.. i still feel the guiltiness deep inside my heart.. i couldn't forgive myself.. For chinese lunar calendar, my grandfather died on 16 July 2007. It was during the hungry ghost festival. I MISS HIM SO SO SO MUCH!! i could even cry when i start talk bout my grandfather!! however.. it seems like he just passed away not long ago..

On the day when my grandfather died, i was on the phone call with Howe2!! we talked quite long actually.. that was the time my mum called me to inform me bout my grandfather's death!!! but she didn't get to reach me as the phone was engaging!!! How STUBBORN i am to have miss my mum's phone call?!!!

I guess my mum got frustrated, so she and my dad rushed back home to tell me the news.. The moment i saw they opened the auto-gate outside.. i quickly hang up the phone call with Howe2!!! i went to open the door. i saw my mum was crying.. and my dad had a very numb look on his face..i can sense that there's is something wrong..

The first thing that my father tell me is.. "Grandfather has died.." and my mum was so angry and questioned me bout why i didn't pick up the phone!!! I lied to her that i was having a phone call with my friend.. The moment when my father told me bout the news.. i was SPEECHLESS!! my brain was totally blank!! i didn't know what response to give them..

i went into the car.. all of us was so quiet.. it took us bout 30 minutes to reach my grandfather's house.. and when i reached there.. i saw my aunties.. my uncles.. everyone was crying.. the atmosphere there was really lifeless.. i walked upstairs.. i reached the door of my grandfather's room.. he was there.. with no expression on his face anymore.. his body turned white.. my grandmothers' eyes were red and swollen..

i cried soundlessly.. i couldn't stop my tears from falling.. i couldn't stop starring at my grandfather.. i couldn't take it!! i couldn't accept the fact of his death!! as i was pondering why the incident happened so sudden, my father came near me and tried to ease me.. he told me to calm down..

On the same night.. i couldn't sleep AT ALL!! i lied down on my bed.. all the memories of my grandfather kept passing through my mind.. i played the song from Celine Dion. And i cried for the whole night..

On the funeral ceremony.. we walked along the road with our bare legs.. it was a tradition. Not that we are superstitious.. but we BELIEVE.. we ALL believe!! and i accidentlly stepped on a burning cigarette on the ground!! SHIT!!! don't know which bastard go and throw it on the floor!!! And things went successfully.. we thanked that it wasn't rain that day..

I LOVE YOU, GRANDPA!!