My brain is going to burst!!!

The pathway of taking Medicine is to study Pre-Medical (equivalent to Foundation in Science)..

The duration is 9 to 12 months..

The total fee is RM10,000..

After that, i'll be send to study abroad. Let's say, Indonesia, India, Melbourne, Russia and other specific countries..

5 YEARS!! it'll be a very hard time for me..

Furthermore, i have to do my specialisation.. Another few years needed..

But i really don't wanna FAIL my parents anymore!! I neen to repay them.. their SACRIFICATION!!! I've spent too much of their money.. I want to make them feel PROUD of my success!! i want to succeed in life!!

TM and i have been arguing about our future.. In the end, he decided to follow me if i were to study overseas.. But he's just so stubborn.. I don't want him to sacrifice for me too much.. He asked me whether he or my parents are in my first position.. I told him that wasn't the point!!!

The point is.. Whether i should choose my STUDIES or LOVE!!! which one??!! Of course my studies!! I just hope that he'll understand my situation.. It's very crucial time for me now.. I want to have a better and stable career in the future!!

FINE! i'm gonna take MEDICINE..

28th December 2008

Frankly.. i still feel so shocked when i kept telling myself that i have to take MEDICINE..

That wasn't my plan.. but i HAVE to change my mind for a BRIGHTER FUTURE..

On Sunday.. i went to Kasturi College at First World Nationwide Plaza.. I met the Programme Director and i talked to him (Mr. Bala).. I told him the course i preferred to enroll in..

1. Biomedical Science
2. Biotechnology
3. Bioinformatics
   

But he discouraged me from taking the above three courses.. The reason is these three fields require another TEN to FIFTEEN YEARS to develop!! He said, it's only waste your time and money.. All of a sudden, i just felt so AIMLESS.. my mind was BLANK!! I don't know what to do the next..

He strongly encourage me to take MEDICINE, PHARMACY, DENTISTRY..
I'm not interested in Dentistry because everytime when i saw the dentist tried to pull out the patient's teeth.. i could feel my hairs on my body were raising up.. So, for sure i'm not choosing to be a dentist..

Pharmacist?? Oh! definitely NO!! why do i have to struggle myself for it?? I have to admit that i'm not so good in Chemistry.. Though i'll work hard for it.. But didn't mean i have to torture myself to be a pharmacist, right? hehe..

How about DOCTOR? That would be another new and exciting experience for me.. The fact is.. I LOVE BIOLOGY!! I'm so keen in studying living things.. EXCEPT PLANTS!! Knowing that actually rabbits eat their own shit.. HAHAHAHAHA!!! so funny.. Knowing that cows have four stomaches.. WOW!! incredible, right?? i wonder how nature evolve until all these changes happened..

However.. my grandma wanted me to be a pharmacist.. Mr. Bala told me that taking NURSING course is JOBLESS!! i was terrified when he said that to me.. All these while, i thought being a nurse is a very good choice.. But when he asked me the consequences of being a nurse.. ESPECIALLY after marriage. Wil you have enough time to manage your family?? To raise up your children while you have to work shift in the hospital?? Your husband?? He's TRUE.. VERY TRUE..

I once told myself.. No matter how much i love my job.. My family will always be in the FIRST POSITION in my heart.. This is the fact that will never change.. i don't want it to change.. And i won't let it CHANGE!!! I want to be a caring WIFE, but only cares about my patients!! i want to be a LOYAL wife..

What say you?? Do you support me??

Leona Lewis - Run

I'll sing it one last time for you

Then we really have to go

You've been the only thing that's right

In all I've done

And I can barely look at you

But every single time I do

I know we'll make it anywhere

Away from here

[chorus]

Light up, light up

As if you have a choice

Even if you cannot hear my voice

I'll be right beside you dear

Louder louder

And we'll run for our lives

I can hardly speak I understand

Why you can't raise your voice to say

To think I might not see those eyes

Makes it so hard not to cry

And as we say our long goodbye

I nearly do

[chorus]

Light up, light up

As if you have a choice

Even if you cannot hear my voice

I'll be right beside you dear

Louder louder

And we'll run for our lives

I can hardly speak I understand

Why you can't raise your voice to say ...

I almost fainted at Sunway Pyramid!!

25th December 2009..

It was Christmas Day..

I was supposed to visit Ateli3r's house.. She invited us for lunch.. TM was supposed to come with me to.. Nanalicious told me that she couldn't make it coz she need to follow her mum to Malacca for a wedding ceremony.. Well, Anandh had prayers to do.. Magen?? I don't care!!

However, i didn't get the chance to go to Ateli3r's house too.. My mum told me that she'll bring me to Sunway Pyramid to buy New Year clothes.. Haiz.. In the end, i had to cancelled it.. I though i could go to TM's house to visit his new bedroom.. Hehe..

So i quickly had my shower and head on to SP by my auntie's car.. The very first shop that i vist was MESSAGE. They sell two different age groups of garments.. For Ladies ONLY. i tried on two sts of clothes.. they were nice.. I mean the clothes.. i bought a pair of trousers.. you guess how much it cost??

RM109!!!

And i bought a shirt.. RM69!!

Plus my mum's clothes - The total amount is..

RM2000+++ !!!

Can you believe that??!! We spent almost an hour in that shop, and it was like having a fashion show inside it!!! My mum kept trying clothes inside the fitting room.. But she looked nice too.. REALLY!!

At that moment.. everything turned upside-down.. I felt like vomitting.. I told my grandma that i have to go to the toilet immediately.. i can't focus my vision.. i can't see things properly.. My vision was extremely blurred.. i SWEAR i REALLY didn't know what was happening to me.. but frankly speaking.. that kind of feeling was TERRIBLE!!!

i tried not to vomit in front of the people.. i searched everywhere for toilet.. Finally, i FOUND it!! All the people starring at me.. They could sense that i wasn't feel right.. i accidently hit the wall coz i couldn't pay attention on my way.. A Malay guy tried to help me.. but eventually he didn't..

i went into the toilet and i could feel that my entire body was shivering.. i felt so cold inside.. i looked so blue.. i tried to take out my hp and give a call to TM.. but i got no energy.. all of a sudden, i felt so tired.. Plus i was having my menstruation.. my lower abdormal part was pain..

I stayed in the toilet for less than half an hour.. my auntie brought me out.. and bought me some bread and a cup of hot milo.. we went home immediately.. my mum asked me whether i want to see the doctor.. but i refused.. i believe that i'll be alright soon..

When i reached home, i ate medicine and i took a nap.. i'm feeling ok now.. Fuh!! i'm glad that i'm not staying in the hospital!!

I had a dream..

22nd December 2008..

I had this dream.. Part of it was a nightmare.. How should i start?? Erm.. it began with a very sweet relationship.. but NOT with TM.. IT'S WITH PB.. Oh my Goodness.. i just can't believe that he EXISTED in my DREAM!!! How could it be??!!

I SWEAR I REALLY don't want this to happened.. I admit that MAYBE i do still have feelings for him.. but.. there's NO WAY that he could appear in my DREAM!! I just can't figure it out what's going on in my BRAIN!! What am i thinking?!!

He is NOT SUPPOSED to be in my mind.. i hope this will not last long.. i REALLY hope this will only stay temporary.. I can't let this disrupt my mind.. OK, maybe the feeling of jealousy remained in my mind.. but.. i know i should be wishing him HAPPILY FOREVER..

What to do.. I was the one who dumped him at first due to THE EXISTENCE OF A THIRD PERSON, that is Howe2. It was obviously my FAULT.. i knew that he really loved me.. but i was just too cruel to hurt him so bad.. I'm sorry, Daniel.. Really sorry.. I hope you would forgive me WITHOUT forgetting me.. XD

He was riding a.. (erm.. i forgot what vehicle was that..) motorcycle OR a bicycle.. ARGH!! I JUST CAN'T REMEMBER!!! He came to my house, he asked me out!!! I could still remember how i feel that moment.. I was totally overwhelmed!!! It seemed like it's all i've been awaiting for..

BUT.. it wasn't a suitable timing.. my parents were at home.. they witnessed everything.. They didn't really approve.. but i tried so hard to beg them.. JUST LET ME OUT!!! Finally i could hang out with him..

OK, i can't really remember what we (PB and I) did.. but they were all sweet memories.. When i came home, my parents and i had a talk PERSONALLY.. They disagreed the relationship between PB and I. Fine, i got no idea how me and him got together..

One day.. PB and I decided to run away.. I was the one who drive the car.. I don't know what car was that.. It was just some random car existed in my dream.. Suddenly, i saw my parents' car passed by us!! And they saw us too!! ALL OF A SUDDEN.. I hitted my parents' car, i tred to avoid their car but i failed..

After that.. i realised that my father had died from the accident..

I was frightened and i woke up from my bed.. i looked at the time from my hp.. and it was only 3 something in the morning.. i tried to sleep again.. but i can't.. i kept thinking the reason why i had this horrible dream.. that wasn't my expectation.. REALLY!!

马来西亚华语

中国人 ：今晚你有空吗？我没空！
马来西亚华人 ：今晚你得不得空？我不得空！

中国人 ：饼干受潮了…。
马来西亚华人 ：饼干'漏风'了…。

中国人 ：从上海去苏州要多少个小时？
马来西亚华人：从上海去苏州要几粒钟？

中国人 ：难道他不可以来吗？
马来西亚华人：你不给他不来啊？

中国人 ：周杰伦不喜欢穿内裤。
马来西亚华人：周杰伦不喜欢穿底裤。

中国人 ：我一向都是这样的
马来西亚人：我一路来都是这样的啦

中国人 ：我的手机掉进沟渠了。
马来西亚华人：我的手机掉进龙沟了。

中国人 ：这样你不是很不值得吗？
马来西亚华人：这样你'马'很不 '歹'？

中国人 ：你真是聪明！
马来西亚华人：你真是pan nai！(源自马来语pandai，聪明的意思)

中国人 ：你安静！
马来西亚华人：你diam diam！(源自马来语diam，安静的意思)

中国人 ：我要去银行取款。
马来西亚华人：我要去银行 '按钱'。

中国人 ：为什么？
马来西亚华人：做么？

中国人 ：你很强~
马来西亚华人：你很够力~

中国人 ：明天也叫他一起去吧！
马来西亚华人：明天叫'埋'他一起去！

中国人 ：我很郁闷~~~
马来西亚华人：我很'显'（sien）啊~~~~（'显'比郁闷的境界更高）

中国人 ：你再说我就打你！
马来西亚华人：你再说我就hood你！（有点粗俗的）

中国人 ：你在说什么？
马来西亚华人：你在说sommok？

中国人 ：你不要令我丢脸~
马来西亚华人：你不要'下水' 我~

中国人 ：真被你气到…。
马来西亚华人：被你炸到…。

中国人 ：你别乱来~
马来西亚华人：你表乱乱来~

中国人 ：你很无聊
马来西亚华人：你很废

中国人 ：XX你
马来西亚华人：Kanasai（意思是像大便一样，骂人的话）

中国人 ：迫切
马来西亚华人：bek chek

中国人 ：我们一起吃这碗面~
马来西亚华人：我们'公司'吃这碗面~（源自马来语的kongsi，就是一起分享的意思）

中国人 ：今天的天气很热~
马来西亚华人：今天的天气热到。。。。。。（'到'字要拉 长，然后没有下文了）

中国人 ：哇!
马来西亚华人：哇捞weh!!!!

中国人 ：我受不了他！
马来西亚华人：我behtahan他！

中国人 ：有嗎?
马来西亚华人：哪裡有哦?

中国人 ：很好笑!
马来西亚华人：幾好笑!

爱一个人

如果你不爱一个人,

请放手.

好让别人有机会爱她.

如果你爱的人放弃了你,

请放开自己,

好让自己有机会爱别人.

有的东西你再喜欢也不会属于你的,

有的东西你再留恋也注定要放弃的.

人生中有许多种 .

但别让自己为一种伤害.

有些缘分是注定要失去的,

有些缘分是永远都不会有好结果的,

爱一个人不一定要拥有,

但拥有一个人就一定要好好的去爱她.

男人哭了是因为他真的爱了.

女人哭了是因为她真的放弃了.

如果真诚是一种伤害,

我选择谎言;

如果谎言一种伤害,

我选择沉默;

如果沉默是一种伤害,

我选择离开.

如果失去是苦，

你怕不怕付出 ,

如果迷乱是苦，

你会不会选择结束,

如果追求是苦，

你会不会选择执迷不悟 ,

如果分离是苦，

你要向谁倾诉,

好多事情都是后来才看清楚,

好多事情当时一点也不觉得苦!!!!


*** 爱 & 缘分 ***

１.她無聊時陪她

２.她難過時安慰她

３.男生要主動點

４.多約女友出去

５.不能讓女友主動約

６.讓她每天都開心愉快

７.要好好對待女友

８.順從女友的意

９.不要讓她傷心難過

１０.當她被欺負要立刻去保護她

１１.不要隱瞞女友事情

１２.不能背叛女友

愿天下有情人终成眷属

爱的感觉，总是在一开始觉得很甜蜜，
总觉得多一个人陪、多一个人帮你分担，
你终於不再孤单了，至少有一个人想著你、恋著你，
不论做什么事情， 只要能一起，就是好的，
但是慢慢的，随著彼此的认识愈深，
你开始发现了对方的缺点， 於是问题一个接著一个发生，
你开始烦、累，甚至想要逃避，
有人说爱情就像在捡石头， 总想捡到一个适合自己的，
但是你又如何知道什么时候能够捡到呢？

*她适合你，那你又适合她吗?
其实，爱情就像磨石子一样，
或许刚捡到的时候，你不是那么的满意，
但是记住人是有弹性的， 很多事情是可以改变的，
只要你有心、有勇气， 与其到处去捡未知的石头，
还不如好好的将自己已经拥有的石头磨亮磨，你开始磨了吗？
很多人以为是因为感情淡了， 所以人才会变得懒惰。
错！
其实是人先被惰性征服， 所以感情才会变淡的。

*在某个聚餐的场合, 有人提议多吃点虾子对身体好，
这时候有个中年男人忽然说「十年前，当我老婆还是我的女朋友的时候，她说要吃十只虾，我就剥二十只给她！ 现在，如果她要我帮她剥虾壳，开玩笑！我连帮她脱衣服都没兴趣了，还剥虾壳咧！

*听到了吗？明白了吗？
难怪越来越多人只想要谈一辈子的恋爱，却迟迟不肯走入婚姻。
因为，婚姻容易让人变得懒惰。
如果每个人都 懒得讲话、 懒得倾听、 懒得制造惊喜、 懒得温柔体贴，
那么夫妻或是情人之间， 又怎么会不渐行渐远渐无声呢？

所以请记住：
有活力的爱情， 是需要适度殷勤灌溉的， 谈恋爱，更是不可以偷懒的喔！

*有一对情侣，相约下班後去用餐、逛街，
可是女孩因为公司会议而延误了， 当她冒著雨赶到的时候已经迟到了30多分钟，
他的男朋友很不高兴的说： 你每次都这样，现在我甚么心情也没了， 我以後再也不会等你了！ 刹那间，女孩终於决堤崩溃了， 她心里在想：或许，他们再也没有未来了

*同样的在同一个地点，另一对情侣也面临同样的处境； 女孩赶到的时候也迟到了半个钟头，他的男朋友说：我想你一定忙坏了吧！ 接著他为女孩拭去脸上的雨水，并且脱去外套盖在女孩身上， 此刻，女孩流泪了, 但是流过她脸颊的泪却是温馨的。

你体会到了吗？

*其实爱、恨往往只是在我们的一念之间！
爱不仅要懂得宽容更要及时， 很多事可能只是在於你心境的转变罢了！

懂了吗？
当有个人爱上你，而你也觉得他不错。
那并不代表你会选择他。

*我们总说：我要找一个你很爱很爱的人，才会谈恋爱。
但是当对方问你，怎样才算是很爱很爱的时候， 你可能无法回答他，因为你自己也不知道。

*没错，我们总是以为，我们会找到一个自己很爱很爱的人。
可是後来，当我们猛然回首，我们才会发觉自己曾经多么天真。
假如从来没有开始，你怎么知道自己会不会很爱很爱那个人呢？
其实，很爱很爱的感觉，是要在一起经历了许多事情之後才会发现的。
或许每个人都希望能够找到自己心目中百分之百的伴侣， 但是你有没有想过在你身边会不会早已经有人默默对你付出很久了，只是你没发 觉而已呢？
所以，还是仔细看看身边的人吧！ 他或许已经等你很久喽！

*当你爱一个人的时候，爱到八分绝对刚刚好。
所有的期待和希望都只有七八分；剩下两三分用来爱自己。
如果你还继续爱得更多，很可能会给对方沉重的压力，让彼此喘不过气来， 完全丧失了爱情的乐趣。

*所以请记住， 喝酒不要超过六分醉， 吃饭不要超过七分饱， 爱一个人不要超过八分

*那天朋友问我：到底该怎么做才算是爱一个人呢？
我笑著跟他说：其实每个人的爱情观都不一样，说对了叫开导，但就怕说错反倒变成误导。
那就糟糕了！

*如果你也正在为爱迷惘，或许下面这段话可以给你一些启示：

爱一个人，要了解，也要开解；
要道歉，也要道谢；
要认错，也要改错；
要体贴，也要体谅；
是接受，而不是忍受；
是宽容，而不是纵容；
是支持，而不是支配；
是慰问，而不是质问；
是倾诉，而不是控诉；
是难忘，而不是遗忘；
是彼此交流，而不是凡事交代；
是为对方默默祈求， 而不是向对方诸多要求；
可以浪漫，但不要浪费；
可以随时牵手，但不要随便分手。

JEALOUSY is the main root of most broke-up couples..

It was on 27th NOVEMBER 2008..

It was the last day of SPM.. After we've done our EST Paper 2, our gang (Ateli3r, Nanalicious, Anandh, Magen and ME) went to Al-Nainas for lunch.. Nana's mother made curry chicken rice for us.. I didn't know about it at first.. So i thought that i'll hang out with TM.. I immediately called TM to inform him about it.. I was thinking to invite him to come along with us and have lunch together.. though that wasn't our plan.. But it doesn't matter, right??

Actually we were planning to hang out at the park near by the school.. But TM wasn't happy with my suggestion.. So he went away without my foreknowledge..

THREE DAYS TWO NIGHTS

it was on 3 NOVEMBER 2008..The day after my birthday..

TM came over to my house..
Actually he planned to stay over night.. ONLY ONE NIGHT!!!

But eventually it was TWO NIGHTS..

it was SEVEN days before my SPM!!!!

We buat itu FOUR TIMES in THREE DAYS!!!

My menstruation jus end.. According to one of his friends, he said i wouldn't get pregnant if i have sexual intercourse right after menstruation.. THAT'S TRUE!!! i was kinda worried at first.. but i took the RISK!!

I cleaned his ears with FOUR cotton buds.. it was full of yellowish SHITS in it.. i could see them clearly.. LISTEN!!! This is what a WIFE should do after marriage.. So, there's no point that us girls keep complaining that this is disgusting or whatsoever.. THIS IS NECESSARY!!

TM eats A LOT sometimes!! Early in the morning, when my parents went out for work, while my brothers went to school.. i cooked one MAGGI MEE for him.. but he said that wasn't ENOUGH for him!! he wanted me to cook TWO packs for him.. My Goodness!!! but i added TWO eggs for him already.. After that, he even ate half a cup of instant MUSHROOM SOUP.. and a piece of CAKE!!

But throughout all these days.. i realised that he has a lot of FLAWS too.. Sometimes, he's UNHYGIENIC.. he pee until the surrounding of my toilet bowl.. I knew i'm not supposed to reveal all these.. it's his privacy though..

He likes to check on my stuffs in my room.. Like he ransacked my room!! He read the LOVE LETTER that was given by REMO.. He read my calendar ( my so-called diary ).. And he NEARLY found out that i was with HOWE2 !!! It was such a close shave..

He gave me a huge pack of CHOCOLATE and a piggy bear.. i LOVE soft toys..

Oh my God, it's raining now.. think i gotta sign out now.. before the thunder stricks!!

MSN

5 december 2008

Recently, i signed in to my msn.. i was shocked!!

THERE'S 267 UNREAD MAILS!!!

WOW!!!! but i deleted most of them.. cuz mostly the mails were from

• Music123.com
• Fanbox.com
• and... WHATSOEVER!!!

i HATED it when the mails that i received were all forwarded messages..

and usually at the end of the mail.. people will wrote there:

"if you don't forward this message, you encountered with something bad in your life.."

RUBBISH!!!!

TWILIGHT

1 DECEMEBER 2008

That morning when i woke up.. it was a SUNNY day..

I guess i was overjoyed because of the outing with my friends and my... hehehe.. bf!!!

The night before the outing, i've already choose what clothes that i'm gonna wear..

That was my most awaiting moment ever... BECAUSE.. that was the first time i went to watch a movie with my bf.. Even my ex bf had not bring me to watch a movie.. all he did was pulled me to the staircase... Erm.. you know... No need to tell.. i didn't wanna bring up the past memories..

When i reached IOI Mall, i thought Lyana was already there, but i couldn't see her.. so i walked around and search for her.. she was at Jusco.. she brought one of her guy friends named Asyraf.. I saw David too!! Actually we were celebrating a farewell party for him.. he was going back to Sarawak.. Asyraf wanted Nana to untied her hair.. so we went to toilet again.. Whereas David and TM went to the game station.. i told him not to go but he insisted. I hated the smell of cigatette smoke inside..

After that, we went to the cinema. i went to the toilet once again, to check my hair (cuz he kept rubbed my hair and made it very very messy!!!).. ahahaha!! so we bought drinks for each one of us.. but i shared with TM.. oh ya!! we bought an EXTRA ticket for my little cousin..

so we sat together.. there was a chinese couple sat behind us too.. TM and i was kinda intimate at times.. so the pair of couple who sat behind us couldn't stand that.. they changed their seat to another place.. HAHAHAHAHA!!!! so what???!!!

we were touching each other.. i was touching his tummy (with lots of hair over there!!) i LOVE it so much!!! ahahahahahah!!! And i was kinda cold, cuz i was wearing a mini skirt.. so TM put his hand on my lab.. to keep me warm.. we kissed at times..

Erm.. i guess i should skip the movie part..

As time goes by.. it was going to be 9p.m. which means it's time for me to go back.. BUT I'VE NOT EAT MY DINNER!!!! we were planning to eat together, but i didn't know that the movie took for about two hours.. so i had to say BYE BYE to them.. so i left the cinema earlier before the movie ends.. i went to the main entrance in front of the Starbucks Cafe.. Ateli3r gave me hug, and a gave a hug for Nanalicious..

THE END...

i'm taking my CAR licence!!!!!

HAHAHAHAHA......

30th November 2008

That morning, i woke up at around 6.45p.m.

I clean myself up and get ready to go to Bangi!!!

When i reached the Bandar Kinrara Car Learning Academy.. i ONLY saw Malay guys!!!! WTF!! i was the only Chinese girl.. Then, there was a Malay man came towards me, he called my name!! Goodness!! he knew my NAME!!!

"Chin??" asked the Malay man.

Of course!! he got the name list!! LAME...

So we head on to Bangi.. sitting with my ONLY chinese girl friend.. Her name is Michelle.. She's same age as me.. BUT, she's studying in college now!! TAYLOR'S COLLEGE!!!!

So when we reached Bangi.. i saw a lot of cars.. a lot of people.. Then i went to the information counter, i registered my name.. the officer took my Identity Card.. so i was the FIRST one who enter the classroom.. so i sat in front..

Then, there was a Malay girl came to me, and introduced herself.. Her name is Zasha.. Same age.. Just finished SPM. However.. i non-stop pressing my phone.. i called Lyana, told her that i went to the kuliah already.. she was kinda shocked cause i indirectly woke her up early in the morning (it was only 8a.m. something).. hehehe...

The speaker was late that day.. he noticed that I WAS THE ONLY CHINESE GIRL there!!!!!!!! it was kinda embarrassing.. however, i don't really care.. as long as i am able to mix around with different races or religion peple.. i'm NOT the type of ANTI-SOCIAL people..

The class was kinda boring.. The Malay guy who sat beside me had already fell asleep.. Zasha and i were REALLY TRYING so hard to combat the sleepiness in ourselves!! YES, WE DID!!!

So we had break-time for about half an hour.. i didn't have the appetite to eat.. so i stayed at the hall.. i called TM, but he didn't like that i waste my credit to call him.. but i told him that i missed him so much.. why can't he just be more understanding??? so we had a small argument.. but we were alright after that..

By now.. i just NEED to read the TWO books as fast as possible.. Cause Nana is waiting for me.. heheheh!!

However, they still remain unchanged using the manual one.. i thought i could use the AUTO one.. Haiz..

I just need RM998 for the entire process.. it's CHEAP enough, right?? i mean, compared to last time.. hehehe!